Will become a church member

[evangelist6589]

If my wife decided we’d become free-will Baptists, being a good Southern Baptist I’d say “no…submit woman!” When I regained consciousness I still wouldn’t become a member. :smilewinkgrin:

Seriously, though, as a complementarian I believe it is the husbands responsibility to provide spiritual leadership in the home. My opinion here would be that there is more to this than the doctrine of the local church. But hey, opinions are like … noses. Everyone has one.

I was gonna join today but perhaps the Lord prevented it due to a mistake I made when I walked forward at the invitation as I went to the wrong section of the church by error. So this gives me time to think it over.

Yes perhaps I need to put my feet down and tell her to submit. She will wine and bicker about it, but the decision is mine. She has been single a long time and we have only been married 5 months. She needs to learn submission...

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

I am locked in the church due to my wife and her present inability to see anything beyond relationships and connections with others which she thinks is more important than DOCTRINE. Even in Joel Osteens church the people are nice, friendly, kind, and good ethical people. However that church does not preach DOCTRINE.

Oye vey! Your kidding right! Let them have their relationships, but you really need to assert your own beliefs into the equation and not be so wishy washy. And you know what, they should respect that & anything short of that is really being selfish on their part. All I'm seeing here is a zero sum game.....they win & you loose.....loose your very personal beliefs....& that's bad bad bad.

 

[JonC]

I am locked in the church due to my wife and her present inability to see anything beyond relationships and connections with others which she thinks is more important than DOCTRINE. Even in Joel Osteens church the people are nice, friendly, kind, and good ethical people. However that church does not preach DOCTRINE.

I do not know enough about IFB churches to offer an insight or advice on the doctrine they teach. I do hope that God grants you the patience to work with your wife, in love and understanding, to come to an amicable solution. Perhaps studying the Word at home in addition to attending church together will move your wife towards a greater appreciation for doctrine (without, of course, neglecting relational aspects of the Church). Maybe you should visit several churches with your wife before committing to joining her church. I don’t have a solution, but you have my prayers. I know can be difficult when you feel adrift when it comes to a local church home.

 

[preacher4truth]

I was gonna join today but perhaps the Lord prevented it due to a mistake I made when I walked forward at the invitation as I went to the wrong section of the church by error. So this gives me time to think it over.

Yes perhaps I need to put my feet down and tell her to submit. She will wine and bicker about it, but the decision is mine. She has been single a long time and we have only been married 5 months. She needs to learn submission...

Well she needs correct doctrine and fellowship. Doctrine comes prior to fellowship -- 'And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers'. Acts 2:42. The order shows doctrine first, then fellowship followed.

There is no way I'd feel comfortable in a church where I had to compromise truth for the sake of appeasing anyone including a spouse. Truth and Biblical manhood doesn't tolerate this, and this is only one reason why we got away from IFB/SBC and we are all the better for it.

 

[evangelist6589]

Oye vey! Your kidding right! Let them have their relationships, but you really need to assert your own beliefs into the equation and not be so wishy washy. And you know what, they should respect that & anything short of that is really being selfish on their part. All I'm seeing here is a zero sum game.....they win & you loose.....loose your very personal beliefs....& that's bad bad bad.

I won't lose them as long as I continue to study the Bible, and read books.

 

[evangelist6589]

I do not know enough about IFB churches to offer an insight or advice on the doctrine they teach. I do hope that God grants you the patience to work with your wife, in love and understanding, to come to an amicable solution. Perhaps studying the Word at home in addition to attending church together will move your wife towards a greater appreciation for doctrine (without, of course, neglecting relational aspects of the Church). Maybe you should visit several churches with your wife before committing to joining her church. I don’t have a solution, but you have my prayers. I know can be difficult when you feel adrift when it comes to a local church home.

Trying to visit other churches won't work as she insists this is the only church she will ever go to all her life. Since she won't read books, perhaps a video series on Reformed theology by RC Sproul may be necessary. They often give them away for FREE for a donation. Any ideas?

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Well she needs correct doctrine and fellowship. Doctrine comes prior to fellowship -- 'And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers'. Acts 2:42. The order shows doctrine first, then fellowship followed.

There is no way I'd feel comfortable in a church where I had to compromise truth for the sake of appeasing anyone including a spouse. Truth and Biblical manhood doesn't tolerate this, and this is only one reason why we got away from IFB/SBC and we are all the better for it.

AMEN:thumbs:

 

[evangelist6589]

Well she needs correct doctrine and fellowship. Doctrine comes prior to fellowship -- 'And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers'. Acts 2:42. The order shows doctrine first, then fellowship followed.

There is no way I'd feel comfortable in a church where I had to compromise truth for the sake of appeasing anyone including a spouse. Truth and Biblical manhood doesn't tolerate this, and this is only one reason why we got away from IFB/SBC and we are all the better for it.

Looking at that verse again you are correct. Doctrine first and then fellowship. The church is teaching verse by verse in Acts and next week will do Eschatology, however I never hear about SIN, REPENTANCE, JUDGMENT, HELL, TOTAL INABILITY, THE HOLINESS OF GOD, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT.

I mean teaching through some OT books in church is great and one knows the story of David, Solomon, and such, however one does not learn doctrine which is gained from Romans.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

I won't lose them as long as I continue to study the Bible, and read books.

Then stand tall for your beliefs & God help you if you cave....you will regret it the rest of your life.

 

[preacher4truth]

Looking at that verse again you are correct. Doctrine first and then fellowship. The church is teaching verse by verse in Acts and next week will do Eschatology, however I never hear about SIN, REPENTANCE, JUDGMENT, HELL, TOTAL INABILITY, THE HOLINESS OF GOD, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT.

Of course they aren't, they gotta keep those numbers up. Hell would split wide open if they taught things like that or on the attributes of God.

I mean teaching through some OT books in church is great and one knows the story of David, Solomon, and such, however one does not learn doctrine which is gained from Romans.

Scripture says all of it is profitable...for doctrine. When a person can preach Scripture and not be delivering 'doctrine' then he's a showman and nothing more.

 

[preacher4truth]

Then stand tall for your beliefs & God help you if you cave....you will regret it the rest of your life.

Yes, stand for truth. :thumbs: :thumbs:

 

[JonC]

Trying to visit other churches won't work as she insists this is the only church she will ever go to all her life. Since she won't read books, perhaps a video series on Reformed theology by RC Sproul may be necessary. They often give them away for FREE for a donation. Any ideas?

I wouldn’t “shove” Reformed theology at her. There are some who accept the passages that support DoG - BUT they do not feel the need to develop a theology of how it all works. Calvinism incorporates human reason with Scripture to form a theological system (all systematic theologies do this). But if your wife sees no need to “work it out,” and instead just accepts scripture as it comes…then you may not persuade her to your logic.

My wife would pick a church based on the members (fellowship is very important to her, perhaps not at the expense of doctrine but certainly at the expense of what she would consider secondary issues). I can overlook relational/fellowship deficiencies in favor of in-depth teachings (to an extent, anyway). But make no mistake, both reflect the health of the local church. A church can be 100% correct in doctrinal knowledge and still be dead. A church can be 30% wrong, yet live. P4T is right, IMHO, that doctrine (depending on the doctrine) comes prior to fellowship - but doctrine without fellowship is just words without real meaning (they are not taken to heart).

If I were in your shoes I’d select teaching sermon videos. Maybe someone more fair minded that Mac (depending on the video, he can be an instant “turn-off” to non-Calvinists as he gets a bit opinionated at times). But my wife, who also does not enjoy reading, would watch video sermons. Anyway…this is my opinion and suggestion, nothing more. The most important part (for you and your wife) will be your prayer life.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Yes, stand for truth. :thumbs: :thumbs:

Off thread, out of curiosity....who officiated as your spiritial advisory at your wedding?

Sorry...meant this for Evan.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Of course they aren't, they gotta keep those numbers up. Hell would split wide open if they taught things like that or on the attributes of God.



Scripture says all of it is profitable...for doctrine. When a person can preach Scripture and not be delivering 'doctrine' then he's a showman and nothing more.

Your firing on all 6 tonight brother:thumbs:

 

[salzer mtn]

Trying to visit other churches won't work as she insists this is the only church she will ever go to all her life. Since she won't read books, perhaps a video series on Reformed theology by RC Sproul may be necessary. They often give them away for FREE for a donation. Any ideas?

The church houses is full of people that never read a bible other than Sunday school or follow the pastor in his message. People like this reminds me about the joke when two men were talking and one ask the other, when it comes to church, what do you believe ? why, he said I believe what my pastor believes. Pray tell man, what does your pastor believe ? The other man replied, He believes what the church believes. If I were you, I would set down with my wife and go over her doctrinal beliefs and with the bible show her where she is wrong. Even though at this time she may not want to admit you are right, but if the Holy Spirit is in the matter every time her pastor comes across in his messages what his beliefs are contrary to yours, the Holy spirit will immediately cause her to remember your teachings.

 

[Amy.G]

Good grief! Leave the poor woman alone! God will show her what He wants to show her.

Didn't you talk about this stuff before you got married?????

 

[salzer mtn]

Good grief! Leave the poor woman alone! God will show her what He wants to show her.

Didn't you talk about this stuff before you got married?????

And how will God show her ?

 

[JonC]

And how will God show her ?

If she’s like my wife it’ll be via facebook :laugh:

Seriously, though, I think the normal mode God uses is persuasion. A friend explains a truth that you had previous overlooked and doctrine becomes more clear. But it is God who does the revealing - the Holy Spirit in the life of the believer. (I think this is a paraphrase from Spurgeon…sounds like him more than me).

 

[Amy.G]

And how will God show her ?

Seriously? You believe God is sovereign in salvation but not in revealing doctrine?

 

[salzer mtn]

Seriously? You believe God is sovereign in salvation but not in revealing doctrine?

I knew the answer to my question, but do you ?