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Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by fluke, Nov 13, 2008.

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  1. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Get a horse


    I want to become a SCUBA diver, but I cant seem to find any swimming pools here in the Death Valley where I live?
     
    #381 Salty, Nov 6, 2011
  2. Benjamin

    Benjamin Well-Known Member
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    Get a rope and one of these first:
    [​IMG]

    I have to study for a another exam tomorrow after taking taking a monsterous one today and my brain is shutting down. How can I snap out of it?
     
    #382 Benjamin, Nov 7, 2011
  3. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Go to your local morgue and ask if they have an "exchange program".


    I have a canary that only wants to eat bologna. How can I get it to eat bird seeds?
     
    #383 convicted1, Nov 11, 2011
  4. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Give your canary a voters registration card marked Republican and that he would be much better off as a conservative.


    My taxi broke down today, and I had to wait 2 hours for the tow truck. Should I have called in and told them to clock me out, since I was not working - or what else could I have done?
     
    #384 Salty, Nov 11, 2011
  5. Benjamin

    Benjamin Well-Known Member
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    You could have called them for a cab and asked for an employee discount.

    My little Rat Terror…err I mean Terrier,… apparently went over to the neighbor’s and visited their Chihuahua a while back and now I have to figure out what to name the breed of the four puppies making a mess out of my laundry room, any suggestions?

    [​IMG]
     
    #385 Benjamin, Nov 12, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 12, 2011
  6. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Call'em "Rat Cheers"!!!


    A friend of mine has a wooden leg infested with cockroaches, termites, doodle bugs, and spiders. How can I save his wooden leg? He is on a fixed income, and can not afford a used one, let alone a new one. Any suggestions??
     
    #386 convicted1, Nov 12, 2011
  7. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Look for mirages, and hook up to a hydrogen tank.

    My legs hurt from walking too much. How to deal with the pain?
     
    #387 SaggyWoman, Dec 10, 2011
  8. Benjamin

    Benjamin Well-Known Member
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    Try walking on your hands for a while.

    How can I deal with my anxiety about waiting for for my last finals grade to come in?
     
    #388 Benjamin, Dec 13, 2011
  9. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Bite your fingers off.

    It is slow at work and I am bored. What should I do to keep working?
     
    #389 SaggyWoman, Dec 29, 2011
  10. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Pick up a gallon of milk, let the bottle break, then clean up the mess



    I want to replace Rush Limbaugh - where do I start?
     
    #390 Salty, Dec 29, 2011
  11. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    See if Herman Cain wants to be on radio.


    I am concerned about a Mormon running for president. How can I not support him?
     
    #391 SaggyWoman, Dec 30, 2011
  12. jilphn1022

    jilphn1022 New Member

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    I am concerned about a Mormon running for president. How can I not support him?

    Do like other voters who say
    "it is the economy stupid and vote for a stupid president for another four years, then you won't be voting for a Mormon!! Easy?

    How do you get rid of cold sores on your lips?
     
    #392 jilphn1022, Jan 7, 2012
  13. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Kiss presidential candidates.

    A week into January and we don't have any snow. Time for the snow dance?
     
    #393 padredurand, Jan 8, 2012
  14. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    If you do - pay somone in un-marked bills becasue as a baptist you not supposed to dance.

    Charles Stanely calls you for advice on how to increase the attendance at First Baptist, Atlanta.

    Your Response:
     
    #394 Salty, Jan 8, 2012
  15. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Rustlin'! Why breed sheep when you can steal 'em.

    How can I convince someone they would be happier as a Presbyterian?
     
    #395 padredurand, Jan 8, 2012
  16. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Invite them to your church... :smilewinkgrin:


    How can I convice a Calvinist they're wrong?
     
    #396 convicted1, Jan 8, 2012
  17. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Ouch. Can I have a Bandaid, please? :laugh:


    See above. :wavey:

    My eldest son has been walking around the house singing BeeGee songs. Help!
     
    #397 padredurand, Jan 8, 2012
  18. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Why sure!! Give him a bunch of big rimmed sunglasses, loud suits, and the words to "Benny and the Jetts".


    How can I keep a bee from stinging me, this side of killing it?
     
    #398 convicted1, Jan 8, 2012
  19. jilphn1022

    jilphn1022 New Member

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    feed it honey and sing songs about honey to the scared bee!
    How could a bee feed the hand that feeds it?
     
    #399 jilphn1022, Jan 9, 2012
  20. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    By sharpening it's jabber first.

    I am tired of all the election nonsense, and it has only just begun. What should I do?
     
    #400 SaggyWoman, Feb 17, 2012
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