convicted1
Guest
Buy some foam and a razor, and start over.
My apple turnover, won't turnover.................
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Bad Advice Only
- Thread starter fluke
- Start date
Buy some foam and a razor, and start over.
My apple turnover, won't turnover.................
Eat it while dangling upside down from an apple tree limbBuy some foam and a razor, and start over.
My apple turnover, won't turnover.................
A varmit keeps digging up my tomato garden.
SaggyWoman
Active Member
My nephew drives (or tries to drive) a dodge.
Put a Honda engine in it.
Where can I go to get free Wifi?
Put a Honda engine in it.
Where can I go to get free Wifi?
Get a kite, tie it to your lap top and when the next wind gust blows by let the kite go. Wifi will then be free.
My barnyard cat is starting to wonder.
convicted1
Guest
Make sure if has bus fair home.
Kidney stones sure hurt.
Have the doctors remove your kidneys, and you won't have those "mean ole stones" any more.
My truck is stuck in the ditch.
convicted1
Guest
Call your friendly Ford driver to pull you out.
My dog is afraid of the sprinkler
Take him to your local baptist church and have him baptized next time.
My neighbor is continually pestering me.....
SaggyWoman
Active Member
My neighbor is continually pestering me.....
Pluck his eye out.
The music is too loud in here.
convicted1
Guest
Pluck his eye out.
The music is too loud in here.
Shoot the "source" of the music, and it won't be loud any longer.
I am having a bad hair day..........
SaggyWoman
Active Member
I am having a bad hair day..........
Slick it down with lard.
The conversation in this place is going downhill fast.
convicted1
Guest
Slick it down with lard.
The conversation in this place is going downhill fast.
Type while running faster uphill.......
My cow is constipated........
SaggyWoman
Active Member
My cow is constipated........
Where is your glove?
It is only1:30 on Friday, but I don't get off until 6.
convicted1
Guest
Where is your glove?
It is only1:30 on Friday, but I don't get off until 6.
Move you watch ahead to 6:00 and go home.....
My head and tummy hurts...........
Move you watch ahead to 6:00 and go home.....
My head and tummy hurts...........
Quit your part time job as a sparring robot for the local boxing club.
I don't like hotel coffee
convicted1
Guest
Quit your part time job as a sparring robot for the local boxing club.
I don't like hotel coffee
Try motel coffee next time...
I keep seeing spots before my eyes.............
SaggyWoman
Active Member
I keep seeing spots before my eyes.............
Don't let your eyes offend you. Pluck them out.
I am tired and want to go home.
convicted1
Guest
Don't let your eyes offend you. Pluck them out.
I am tired and want to go home.
Tell your boss this, and when he tells you no, go ahead and clockout anyways. Then tell him you'll see him in the morning.
My foot is itching...................
LillyoftheValley
New Member
Tell your boss this, and when he tells you no, go ahead and clockout anyways. Then tell him you'll see him in the morning.
My foot is itching...................
Rub poison ivy against your other foot so the first doesn't feel alone in this.
The car needs gas, but I really don't want to make ANOTHER trip somewhere.....