A man who is going to stand up for the women on here

[Scarlett O.]

My wife is on her chaise lounge eating grapes while most of these men's wives are at work supporting their...... tails

The women that I know, personally, whom God has not called to a profession, do not sit on a chaise lounge or any other type of cushiony seat. They work very, very, very hard. And their husbands do to.

The women that I know, personally, whom God has called to be nurses, teachers, fireman, and parole officers, are not supporting their husbands nor working to have more "things". Their husbands work hard and the wives are in the professional fields that they are in by God's calling on their lives.

 

[annsni]

This is a problem I have with my Pastor. He makes a great salary ($90k) annually. Though he sees that even though he has children that its necissary for his wife to work. I have four children and make less than he which I find is ok but my wife and I agreed that we would do with out to raise our children using the scriptures template. She's at home and I work. We do without certain nice things but our kids get the benefit of a continual parent at home. Which I think is the way God wants it. Its disturbing that during tithes sermons and financial seminars its encouraged to have two sources of incomes. I'm becoming very perplexed.

I see why you are perplexed - I would be too. Especially if a family has children, I think it is best for the wife to be home. If a family just cannot make it, then I think it's OK for a wife to work - or when the children are bigger but I still think a woman's primary responsibility is to her homestead. I work because we just do not make enough to live on just my husband's salary but I work for the church - and I do things that are important AND I mostly make my own hours and keep my kids with me. I'm able to either work from home (website stuff) or in the sanctuary during the week (computer stuff) and bring the kids.

But to encourage two incomes when it's not "necessary" is not all that Biblical, IMO. We should be encouraging our families to get out of debt, understand what is "necessary" and what is "wishes and wants" and just how to deal with the two. Unfortunately where we live, many families have both spouses working out of necessity due to high cost of living here. Just our property taxes alone are $14,000 without our clergy exemption - and the exemption only brings that down to $11,000 a year. But being creative, it's possible to decrease the expenses - but we must be willing to do that. We've been ready to sell our house at any time if needed (although it's fully paid off so that's a blessing) to downscale and we'd go to two older cars if we had to (although they're getting there anyway as they're 1999 and 2002).

I guess it's priorities for each family, you know? I have a friend who complains about living in her parent's basement - but they have the best of every electronic you can think of. Their 17 year old has gone through atleast 2 cell phones a year and is now at a Blackberry, they bought her a thousand dollar camera for Christmas and so on. Yeah, we have a house and my kids have a point and shoot and a prepaid cell phone (that they pay for on their own). That's their priority to be all up to date and it's our priority to have our own home and be out of debt. *shrug shoulders*

 

[Thinkingstuff]

I see why you are perplexed - I would be too. Especially if a family has children, I think it is best for the wife to be home. If a family just cannot make it, then I think it's OK for a wife to work - or when the children are bigger but I still think a woman's primary responsibility is to her homestead. I work because we just do not make enough to live on just my husband's salary but I work for the church - and I do things that are important AND I mostly make my own hours and keep my kids with me. I'm able to either work from home (website stuff) or in the sanctuary during the week (computer stuff) and bring the kids.

But to encourage two incomes when it's not "necessary" is not all that Biblical, IMO. We should be encouraging our families to get out of debt, understand what is "necessary" and what is "wishes and wants" and just how to deal with the two. Unfortunately where we live, many families have both spouses working out of necessity due to high cost of living here. Just our property taxes alone are $14,000 without our clergy exemption - and the exemption only brings that down to $11,000 a year. But being creative, it's possible to decrease the expenses - but we must be willing to do that. We've been ready to sell our house at any time if needed (although it's fully paid off so that's a blessing) to downscale and we'd go to two older cars if we had to (although they're getting there anyway as they're 1999 and 2002).

I guess it's priorities for each family, you know? I have a friend who complains about living in her parent's basement - but they have the best of every electronic you can think of. Their 17 year old has gone through atleast 2 cell phones a year and is now at a Blackberry, they bought her a thousand dollar camera for Christmas and so on. Yeah, we have a house and my kids have a point and shoot and a prepaid cell phone (that they pay for on their own). That's their priority to be all up to date and it's our priority to have our own home and be out of debt. *shrug shoulders*

My Pastor is having problems with his mortgage pmt. And so when I hear sermons with regard to the tithe I become skeptical.

 

[annsni]

My Pastor is having problems with his mortgage pmt. And so when I hear sermons with regard to the tithe I become skeptical.

Does he not receive a housing allowance? We do and that is what helps to pay our property taxes as well as other housing expenses. We do have a parsonage at the church but the senior pastor lives there. The rest of the pastors have their own homes that they owned before they came on staff so they instead receive a housing allowance.

Do you live in an expensive area of the country? Around here, $90,000 is under the median income.

 

[Jon-Marc]

Some people seem to see problems where there are none.

 

[mcdirector]

good heavens. This stuff will never end.

I work now because I am called to work with children. I volunteered with children and did contract work before my kids were grown.

I do appreciate the men on this board who treat women like they are supposed to use the brains that were put in their heads.

Calling Mexdeaf a brawler struck me as odd because I've never thought of him as anything but wonderful - as I do many others here.

 

[Johnv]

Good comments by MCDirector. My wife is a math teacher, and was so when we got married. We have no children together (although I have children from a prior marriage). It's unreasonable for me to tell her she must give up her job, which, btw is her ministry. The only time it would be an issue is if her job were morally causing strife in the home, which it's not. In fact, it contributes to serenity in the home and in our marriage.

 

[Thinkingstuff]

Does he not receive a housing allowance? We do and that is what helps to pay our property taxes as well as other housing expenses. We do have a parsonage at the church but the senior pastor lives there. The rest of the pastors have their own homes that they owned before they came on staff so they instead receive a housing allowance.

Do you live in an expensive area of the country? Around here, $90,000 is under the median income.

No the median income in my part of the country is 50k. You must live in Manhattan or something. Most parts of the country is equivelant with where I live.

 

[Mexdeaf]

Can we go back to the OP, please? Thank you!

Someone please start a thread on why women should not work outside of the home so Paul can derail that one.

 

[annsni]

No the median income in my part of the country is 50k. You must live in Manhattan or something. Most parts of the country is equivelant with where I live.

About 30 miles from Manhattan on the North Shore of Long Island. Yeah, it's gross here economy-wise.

If the median income is $50,000 and your pastor is making almost twice that, then it's apparent that he is paying for some past sins in being irresponsible with money (or is currently irresponsible). Unfortunately, pastors are not above that sort of problem.

 

[Thinkingstuff]

About 30 miles from Manhattan on the North Shore of Long Island. Yeah, it's gross here economy-wise.

If the median income is $50,000 and your pastor is making almost twice that, then it's apparent that he is paying for some past sins in being irresponsible with money (or is currently irresponsible). Unfortunately, pastors are not above that sort of problem.

Very true. Sad really. However, because of certain things like this my wife wants us to consider moving churches. I'm struggling with this because of all the years and ministries we've been involved in. But that's another thread.

 

[annsni]

Very true. Sad really. However, because of certain things like this my wife wants us to consider moving churches. I'm struggling with this because of all the years and ministries we've been involved in. But that's another thread.

Been there, done that and have the t-shirt. It's SO hard to leave a fellowship when you've been there a long time but we finally had to move from ours. But what a blessing it was looking back. My husband is now a pastor thanks to that move!

 

[pinoybaptist]

My wife is on her chaise lounge eating grapes while most of these men's wives are at work supporting their...... tails

johnv, where did you get this quote from Paul ? I got cross-eyed looking for this phrase in this thread and couldn't find it.
At any rate, it is not a very kind thing to say, not that I am one of the "tails", but sometimes it is practical for a wife to work, and there is nothing in Scripture I know of or remember where the word specifically tells women are not to help their men earn bread for the table.
I think it is when women work so that they can get what they want rather than what they need that a problem may be pointed at, but even so, that is between them and their God.
I don't have any skills that most men on this board have. I'm not a carpenter, an engineer, a cement worker, or anything. I'm not a professional.
I'm not a high school graduate, and I only have a GED which I got here in the States, and the only reason my wife married me back in 1969 is because she thought I was cute (my mother agreed with her, you know, but they're just about the two women in this God's earth that think so, even now).
Now, my wife, she's a college graduate. Bachelor of Arts, Home Economics, and she has talent. She can sew clothes, any garment, any fabric, on any build of a woman, and that talent helped us through the years raising a family.
Matter of fact, that talent brought her all the way from rundown Philippines to Saudi Arabia to the United States of America, and I'm darn proud of her, and even today, with both of us in our 60's you can't make her siddown and not work because she and I have been working all our lives, and the good Lord has been kind enough to spare us from major illnesses from our youth to just about a few years ago.
I'm darned proud of my wife, and unashamed that she had to help me out, and I'm darned proud of any woman, in Christ or out of Christ, and Christian women who work in support of their husbands, whether in the ministry or not, are, in my humble opinion, strong women and are in no violation of Scriptures.

 

[mcdirector]

[/I]

johnv, where did you get this quote from Paul ?

Hey PB! It's been removed. (post 37 I think is where it was). I came close to referencing it myself because I thought it an odd picture.

 

[pinoybaptist]

Hey PB! It's been removed. (post 37 I think is where it was). I came close to referencing it myself because I thought it an odd picture.

oh, okay, thanks, bitsy.
nice to hear from you.
take care, God bless.

 

[sag38]

This is a compare and contrast thread. On one hand you have the bed wetting liberal baptist and on the other you have the insulting, in your face, judgmental pharisee baptist.

 

[pinoybaptist]

This is a compare and contrast thread. On one hand you have the bed wetting liberal baptist and on the other you have the insulting, in your face, judgmental pharisee baptist.

can you elucidate this for this poor simian ?
thank you.

 

[Amy.G]

can you elucidate this for this poor simian ?
thank you.

Obsessed with primates lately aren't you Pinoy? :laugh:

 

[pinoybaptist]

Obsessed with primates lately aren't you Pinoy? :laugh:

I just find them to be expressive beings, Amy.G.

 

[Amy.G]

I just find them to be expressive beings, Amy.G.

They are that! They make me laugh!