Am I living in Sin?

[RonHogston]

I got married a few years ago.My first and Only Time. Im 43 now.My Wife was Married twice Before.She Divorced Before on Adultery.Her And Him both committed Adultery.Her Second was When Her Husband Sexually Molested Her Daughter. Are We Living in Sin or Am I living right and her wrong.Or Am I sinning For Marrying A Divorcee?I would Like Some input especially since I feel the Call By God To Preach,I felt the Call and was studying and started looking into this Topic.I feel she was reasonable in divorcing her second because of the sexual molestation of Her Daughter,His Step Daughter.And I have never Been Married Before.Am I living Right or Wrong.

 

[Bro.Bill]

I promise you will get all kinds of answers here. You may also have problems getting ordained depending on your church and ordination committee.the best thing to do is talk to your pastor.

 

[mark]

Dear Ron, This is a difficult question, but I do think you've disqualified yourself from becoming a pastor. You need to live a quiet, Christian life, serving others as a member, not shepherd of a local body.

 

[Johnv]

No, you're not living in sin. The first marriage ended because of adultery. I will presume she has repented of her actions in that. That said, her husband also committed adultery, and that was sufficient scriptural grounds for divirce.

Her second marriage ended because of abandonment. When a spouse engages in abuse, such as physical battery, or in this case, sexual moestation of a minor, that spouse has abandoned the marital covenant, and permanently severed it.

As for you and serving in the church, I'd consult your pastor. BTW, things of the past are no one else's business,, except between you and your spouse. Others in your church do not have any privilege to know another's "dirty laundry", except tp gossip. So don't feel like you owe anyone your life story.

 

[USN2Pulpit]

There are many ways you can minister to the church that you are a part of - and remember not every God-given call is to the pastorate. There are many ways in which you can become a "minister" of the gospel.

 

[Scott J]

Bro.Bill is right (Bill, Have I ever agreed with you before?).

You will get a whole bunch of responses. The most literal interpretation of the pastoral passages would not disqualify you. Many, if not most, Baptist read into that passage to forbid divorce on the part of the man or woman.

My recommendation is to deal thoroughly with the other qualifications. In particular, how do you exercise authority over your home and her children? Is your wife biblically submissive? Is she "called" to be a preacher's wife? Please don't take this wrong, I am not judging at all... just suggesting questions.

We had a pastor whose wife had been married before. To make a long story short: Even though she had legitimate reasons for divorcing her first husband (adultery and admitting that he raped other women during the marriage), she also had significant issues that created discord within the Pastor's home and the church.

Not only was he unable to discipline the son she had from the previous marriage, the wife had some unbiblical ideas about rearing their children and coerced him into doing things her way. She was domineering and hateful to anyone who disagreed with her.

 

[Bro.Bill]

I don't know Scott but I can't ever remember bumping heads. I'm not usually arguementative ,though there have been exceptions.

 

[Scott J]

Sorry, Maybe you're not the same "Bro. Bill" from the Calvinism/Arminianism forum.

 

[intojesus]

Hi,

I am new to this board but just thought I would give my perspective. Anyway I am divorced and remarried. My husband has only been married once and thats to me. For this reason he is unable to be a deacon or Pastor. We really feel that you must be above reproach to serve in this area and while we are both forgiven there are consequences to our sins, We concentrate on what we can do and not what we can't do. We are never to give the impression divorce is okay. It was never in Gods plan. Many would say I had very valid reasons to divorce my husband but the bottom line is, had I followed Gods plan from the beginning I would not have married him. I had my own agenda though. But like I said I am forgiven and so is my husband and God has given us a heart for missions. We just got back from South America on a missions trip. God is giving us plenty of ways to serve. Be in prayer God would never call you where you could not serve.

intojesus

 

[Clint Kritzer]

Originally posted by USN2Pulpit:
There are many ways you can minister to the church that you are a part of - and remember not every God-given call is to the pastorate. There are many ways in which you can become a "minister" of the gospel.

I have to agree with this statement. The very fact that your situation is at best "questionable" (hey, you questioned it!) could damage your potential pastorate or your church.

1Timothy 3:2 says that an elder must be above reproach. Whether it is right or wrong in the Eyes of God is a matter between you and Him. At the same time, Paul faced a similar dilemna with the situation in Rome and Corinth on the issue of eating meat (Romans 14; 1Corinthians 8). His solution? If it offends, he will not eat meat.

1Corinthians 9 goes into great detail about serving others at the cost of denying himself in order that he could save others. He sums up the discourse well in verse 22:
1 Corinthians 9:22
To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some.

However, USN2Pulpit (and others) is quite right. There are a myriad of other tasks in the church that a Godly, learned man can pursue. If "preaching" is your call, you do not need an ordination to do so. There are many evangelists that are not ordained. Your church or conference may require a license to preach, however.

But that's another thread...

 

[Brent]

I think the concensus is the same. You can minister in other ways. You questioned the situation, so others definantly will. Baptist doctrine is what it is.
Changing written doctrine hasn't worked in God's favor thus far!

 

[Bro.Bill]

Dear Scott J,
I'm not sure I've ever been on that forum.

 

[Dr. Bob]

While some churches treat divorce as the "unpardonable" sin, it does carry and stigma and question of "reproach".

I agree with my friends here that I would not recommend pastoring or ordination for one in such a situation as you confessed.

God bless you as you minister for His glory in whatever doors are opened to you.

 

[freeatlast]

Originally posted by RonHogston:
I got married a few years ago.My first and Only Time. Im 43 now.My Wife was Married twice Before.She Divorced Before on Adultery.Her And Him both committed Adultery.Her Second was When Her Husband Sexually Molested Her Daughter. Are We Living in Sin or Am I living right and her wrong.Or Am I sinning For Marrying A Divorcee?I would Like Some input especially since I feel the Call By God To Preach,I felt the Call and was studying and started looking into this Topic.I feel she was reasonable in divorcing her second because of the sexual molestation of Her Daughter,His Step Daughter.And I have never Been Married Before.Am I living Right or Wrong.

Ron,
what you have is the preverbal can of worms. First the scriptures are clear that the man who desires the office of bishop (pastor,deacon, or equal) is to be a one woman man. The wives of such are to have the same distinction in character.
It sounds to me that you are disqualified by your wife's prior actions. You did say that she was an adulterer. The fact that her husband was also does not excuse her actions. Also the fact that she has repented makes no difference based on scripture. Remember that even though David repented he was disqualified for certain things. The Lord has laid down the guidelines for who is to lead and who is not and based on scripture you cannot hold the office. I do believe however that you can be an evangelist or possibly a teacher as long as you speak against all forms of sin including what your wife has done without making any excuses.
You asked if you are living in sin. That is more difficult. It depends on several things. Did you know the scriptures about marriage before you married this woman and you just snubbed your nose at them? Or were you totally ignorant about what the bible says? If the prior was the case then I think that the sin was more serious then if your marriage was done in ignorance. Have you asked the Lord to forgive for what you have done regardless of how the marriage took place? (in real sorrow over the sin). There is no doubt that sin occurred due to your marriage, but at what level you have to decide and no matter the level if you have sought forgiveness I would say that you are not living in sin, but rather have a marriage that God did not ordain biblically, but you are still married and now need to live your lives as close to scripture as possible. (Live godly)Speak against ALL sin knowing what it has done in this case by disqualifying you from certain types of service for the Lord.

[ August 27, 2004, 07:31 PM: Message edited by: freeatlast ]

 

[Aaron]

Was this before or after you were saved? Paul was murdering Christians before he was called, but he "received mercy because he did it ignorantly."

 

[RonHogston]

Thank You For Your Input,But I found My answer elsewhere.As Aaron Posted.Paul Was Murdering Christians And Persecuting before Jesus Gave Him his Whop up beside The Head.He called Paul But Forgave Him Because Of His Faith And Love.Then Paul Became one of The Most evangelizing apostle that drew people to Christ.I wasn't Baptised before My Marriage.THe Thing That Concerned Me The Most was The second divorce of my Wife For Her husbands Sexual Abuse of The Daughter.Jesus Never specifically Taught about it .(this is an old Testament Topic).My Wife Submits To me as well as the two boys.She even wheres a Headcovering to Church because she wishes to not dishonor Me.Sure we have our Discussions and debates But its old worldly knowledge that has to be shown that its wrong.She is the Show me Where it says That Type.But She as I am in Repentance.They all Love Christ as I do.As for me.I have always Believed in God,But never opened A Bible since Childhood.I stopped believeing in ministers During the Jim Jones,Jim Swaggart,jim Baker.They sought something besides bring people to Christ through the will of God.Gee whats up with The Bad Jims.But I am not going to Bash.as an old sinner I did a Lot.A lot I am not Proud Of, But I feel Called of God.Which Means I can't Ignore.But now That I have Read The Bible over a Few Times,I have Been Learning Discernment and Gods understanding this past two years.But After I posted This I sought Conference with God.He has Shown me that I need to Follow Him and If I preach it will be because He is Leading Me and its his will. and If Not Then He will Be leading Me Elsewhere.Sorta Like an old Regular Preaching,He never Realizes it till God Gives Him What To Say.We can't use the world as a Basis of Christianity.We cannot use websters to Define Biblical Words.But we can let God shine us a Light on what we need to learn and Know.Again I thank everyone for your opinions and viewpoints.

 

[Aaron]

Originally posted by RonHogston:
Thank You For Your Input,But I found My answer elsewhere.As Aaron Posted....

Nothing I said supports your conclusions. My question was did you marry this girl before you were saved? I don't care when you got baptized or when you "felt the call."

And don't wrest the Scriptures to fit your self will. Paul received mercy because those thingts that would disqualify him he did before he was saved. He did them ignorantly and in unbelief, 1 Tim. 1:12-13.

 

[El_Guero]

Aaron,

I think that I agree with you, but, why would it make a difference if a sin was commited before the Salvation event?

Back to Ron ... How did you experience a call to preach?

Wayne

 

[dcorbett]

I personally know a pastor that is divorced and remarried and is serving the Lord in a church that was spiritually dead, but has grown under his leadership from 40 to 150 members....and is doing great works for the Lord. God chooses who will serve, not man.

I believe it is between you and the Lord. Let no man judge, lest they be judged. We are all sinners, and we are all saved by Grace.

Debbie C

 

[pastor joe]

friends,im new here,hope im not intruding.Paul said "and such were some of you,but ye are washed.... either your sins are under the blood or you are going to hell . if God can get over it, why cant men? from the day you are saved every page of your future is white. just an observation, thanks,joe