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Opinions Please

T

TexasSky

Guest
A man is a pastor.
His children are grown now.
His children make remarks like, "I never knew why my Dad didn't love me."
His children are afraid of him.
The spouses of the children are afraid of him.
His wife is afraid to disagree with him.
His children all went through periods in their life of alcoholism, sexual promiscuity, or even run-ins-with-law, but when they moved away from him, they all settled down into Christian living.

Am I being judgemental to have serious doubts about the man's ability to lead a church?
 
J

Joseph_Botwinick

<img src=/532.jpg>Banned
Do you know everything that went on behind closed doors in his house? Perhaps the whole family was a bunch of overly sensitive sissies, or maybe they were manipulative, or perhaps he was a tyrant. My opinion is that I don't know the whole story, and certainly have not heard the pastor's side of the story.

Joseph Botwinick
 
P

PastorSBC1303

Active Member
From what you have listed I think there is reason to have doubts. Yet that is a serious matter, and not one for any of us on the BB who do not know this man or his situation to throw down judgement. There are always 2 sides to a story and sometimes things are way more complicated than meets the observers eye. I would be very careful here.
 
T

TexasSky

Guest
Ken and PastorSBC1-

Thank you both.

That is more or less what I told the person who asked me what I thought. I told them that I thought they, the person asking me, should pray about this, and maybe learn more about the situation.

My church is not directly involved in the issue. Someone who is was asked for their opinion on the man, and they knew that I knew what they knew. My gut reaction was, even the best Christian homes have trouble from time to time, but for every single child in the family to have trouble until they moved out worried me. I try not to make hasty judgements though, so I recommended prayer and a little investigation or a few interviews.
 
T

TexasSky

Guest
Exscentric,

I don't think what we are talking about qualifies as gossip. The statments regarding the issues that have taken place within the man's family came directly from the individuals in the family who were involved. The people asking questions are asking "can you recommend this person." The people asking ME are saying, "You know as much as I do, what would you say to this search committee." We haven't told anyone, "Oh, well, you know, his oldest daughter got pregnant when she was 17, and his youngest son got a girl pregnant and refused to marry her, and his oldest son was only married for six months before his wife said she couldn't live with someone like him, and two daughters and two sons all drank until they moved away from home."

Though all of those things are facts, they were not related to anyone.

It was all handled along the lines of, "You know them well. I know them well. We know what they went through, now, what do we do? It seems to be better, do we go with today? Or does "yesterday" factor in, since at all times, the family presented as ministers?"
 
T

Terry_Herrington

New Member
Originally posted by TexasSky:
A man is a pastor.
His children are grown now.
His children make remarks like, "I never knew why my Dad didn't love me."
His children are afraid of him.
The spouses of the children are afraid of him.
His wife is afraid to disagree with him.
His children all went through periods in their life of alcoholism, sexual promiscuity, or even run-ins-with-law, but when they moved away from him, they all settled down into Christian living.

Am I being judgemental to have serious doubts about the man's ability to lead a church?
Click to expand...
This sounds like a typical right-wing preacher to me.
 
E

exscentric

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
And you've now shared it with 11,000 plus other people. Hummmm :)

Merriam Webster define it as:

1 a dialect British : GODPARENT b : COMPANION, CRONY c : a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others
2 a : rumor or report of an intimate nature b : a chatty talk c : the subject matter of gossip
–gossipry \-s*-pr*\ noun

[ May 28, 2005, 08:47 PM: Message edited by: exscentric ]
 
D

dianetavegia

Guest
Look at the life lived by Franklin Graham, son of Billy Graham.
 
Ben W

Ben W

Active Member
Site Supporter
Originally posted by TexasSky:
A man is a pastor.
His children are grown now.
His children make remarks like, "I never knew why my Dad didn't love me."
His children are afraid of him.
The spouses of the children are afraid of him.
His wife is afraid to disagree with him.
His children all went through periods in their life of alcoholism, sexual promiscuity, or even run-ins-with-law, but when they moved away from him, they all settled down into Christian living.

Am I being judgemental to have serious doubts about the man's ability to lead a church?
Click to expand...
If his family are afraid of him as grown adults, I would definatley have some doubts!
 
T

TexasSky

Guest
Diane,

Can you elaborate? I know that Franklin was an adult before he came to Chrsit, but that is about all that I know.
 
T

TexasSky

Guest
Exscentric,

I did not give anyone's name, city, or Church. I gave nameless facts.
 
B

BillyMac

New Member
I don't think it's gossip. Gossip would have a name and a face on it or at the very least a location. None of these things exist here.
 
Craigbythesea

Craigbythesea

Well-Known Member
Am I being judgemental to have serious doubts about the man's ability to lead a church?
Click to expand...
No, you are not.

saint.gif
 
HankD

HankD

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Opinions Please
Click to expand...
There are legitimate reasons why one has to make a discerning judgement concerning another's behavior including a pastor.

But if it were me having to make the discerning judgement, I would invite the individual to give his side of the story.

Even in the face of supporting evidence we can't always make the correct assessment concerning the spiritual standing and leadership ability of that one.

Take king David for instance, a real scoundrel who shed the blood of an innocent man to have his way with Bathsheba, yet though God punished him, He allowed him to remain King of Israel.

"...for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart".

Take David again. You see that when he had the ability to kill Saul who clearly was in the wrong, he refrained.

1 Samuel 26
9 And David said to Abishai, Destroy him not: for who can stretch forth his hand against the LORD'S anointed, and be guiltless?

It's understandable that you have sought opinions.
And since you have, here is my opinion/advice.

Be careful!
Be prayerful.

HankD
 
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