Wes, I mean that my faith is in God alone....I mean that I believe that He will always do the right thing....I mean that "even in perseived tragedy " that its meant for good.
This has taken me a long long time to come to terms with....in the final analysis, God alone is good and fair and righteous.....not you, not I and not any human can totally understand Him. Perhaps revisiting Job and his plight and his dialog with God would prove helpful....particularly if you are looking for answers.
I know it is tough. My Aunt and Uncle lost their 5 year old daughter before I was born. I never knew her, but they had a large portrait of her over their fireplace their whole lives. They never forgot. My Dad said they barely spoke to anyone for years. So, I know it is a terrible tragedy that hurts to the very core.
I am glad you are somewhat better now, though no one fully recovers from a loss like this.
I personally do not believe babies are sinners. I believe Romans 9:11 proves this.
Rom 9:11 (For the children being not yet born,
neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth; )
Paul shows that Jacob and Esau had done no evil in their mother's womb. They had not sinned with Adam or anyone else. So why should they deserve to go to hell? I don't believe they should.
But most folks disagree with me and believe all babies are sinners.
Good does come from this, I actually got to speak to my Uncle once about my cousin dying, and it was because of her death that he received Jesus as his Saviour. He knew she went to heaven, and he wanted to make sure he saw her again and spend eternity with her. Those were his very words.