G
Glory-to-God
Guest
Thank you bapmom....well said.
I just want Gods BEST in my life and I am sure so do others
I just want Gods BEST in my life and I am sure so do others
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G
Glory-to-God
Guest
I believe I mentioned this before.
This tends to be the norm than the excpetion....bigger houses, more cars or expensive ones, lots of vactions, credit card debt etc. people including Christians living beyond their means. Don't try and say this isn't true it is....statistics don't lie.
I also witnessed moms when I took my son to day care complain about their children and some said they worked just to get away from their kids. I also noticed the big houses they lived in ( I grew up in the same wealthy area so I was aware of the prices of housing, I was living in low income housing at the time although it was very nice ) and estravagant cars they drove. Here I was trying to stay alive and not rely on welfare....it was sad to hear about moms who put their kids in day care and would rather work than be around them.
Very sad
This tends to be the norm than the excpetion....bigger houses, more cars or expensive ones, lots of vactions, credit card debt etc. people including Christians living beyond their means. Don't try and say this isn't true it is....statistics don't lie.
I also witnessed moms when I took my son to day care complain about their children and some said they worked just to get away from their kids. I also noticed the big houses they lived in ( I grew up in the same wealthy area so I was aware of the prices of housing, I was living in low income housing at the time although it was very nice ) and estravagant cars they drove. Here I was trying to stay alive and not rely on welfare....it was sad to hear about moms who put their kids in day care and would rather work than be around them.
Very sad
M
Marco
Guest
Come on Glory-to-God, that's a little snotty to be talking that way to Thankful.
You got a high horse you're sitting on. I think it's great you found yourself a good man...but there are plenty of ladies out there without that luck and I wonder how you'd be talking today if you were still single. If you're just addressing the lucky ones, well it's easy to point a finger when your life is going your way. We don't know their stories, why they have that "big" house or whatever.
It's too bad you had bad child care for your child while you were working. However, I'm sure there are many fine places - parents at ease.
Yeah...at the end of the day it would be great if all mom's made apple pie everyday and dad earned a good days wage from his hard day of labor. But then there is reality.
G
Glory-to-God
Guest
Nothing snotty about getting frustrated with people who do not read ALL of what someone writes...but insists on attacking their comments for argument sake. I am sure thankful can find something I have said that has been right...you did and so have a few others. It was also said as a reference point to look for my other commnet on the subject. Sorry for clarifying my point.
As far as I am concerned and from what I have studied there are more bad child care places than good ones. Like I said N
NE will take as good of care of your children than you and your wife will...that is if you really love your kids and yourself are not abusive.
For awhile I watched 5 kids under five years old 10 hours a day...one was mine. The Christian mother didn't want to watch her 4 little ones and she ended up running off with some guy from work...divorsed her husband and her kids to this day suffered from that choice. I was a pretty good care taker but I was in no way a subsitute for her...the very young baby threw up and cried alot. I hated dealing with that 10 hours a day.... I was good but I am sure a caring mother would have been better suited.
I think you are still missing the point and taking things a bit personal.
What is Gods BEST and what has HE ordained ?
That would be a TWO parent home....Dad works to provide for his family....mom stays home and is the keeper of her household, at least while kids are young not in school....parents live within their means to meet NEEDS within the family and giving to God and others.
ALL FOR THE GLORY OF GOD AMEN !
As far as I am concerned and from what I have studied there are more bad child care places than good ones. Like I said N
NE will take as good of care of your children than you and your wife will...that is if you really love your kids and yourself are not abusive. For awhile I watched 5 kids under five years old 10 hours a day...one was mine. The Christian mother didn't want to watch her 4 little ones and she ended up running off with some guy from work...divorsed her husband and her kids to this day suffered from that choice. I was a pretty good care taker but I was in no way a subsitute for her...the very young baby threw up and cried alot. I hated dealing with that 10 hours a day.... I was good but I am sure a caring mother would have been better suited.
I think you are still missing the point and taking things a bit personal.
What is Gods BEST and what has HE ordained ?
That would be a TWO parent home....Dad works to provide for his family....mom stays home and is the keeper of her household, at least while kids are young not in school....parents live within their means to meet NEEDS within the family and giving to God and others.
ALL FOR THE GLORY OF GOD AMEN !
Glory-to-God,
I have read every word that you have written in this thread.
The absolute perfect family would be Dad goes to work, makes enough money to support his family. Mom stay home with the children. While she is at home, she cooks, cleans, manages her household and is a loving wife and mother.
But I don't know how anyone can judge another woman or family, even by statistics. Statistics will tell how many women work. They will tell how much the average income is; how much the family debt, etc, but statistics can not know the woman's heart.
A woman can work outside the home and still be a keeper of the home. She can still provide for her family and be a glory to her husband, family and to God.
I have read every word that you have written in this thread.
The absolute perfect family would be Dad goes to work, makes enough money to support his family. Mom stay home with the children. While she is at home, she cooks, cleans, manages her household and is a loving wife and mother.
But I don't know how anyone can judge another woman or family, even by statistics. Statistics will tell how many women work. They will tell how much the average income is; how much the family debt, etc, but statistics can not know the woman's heart.
A woman can work outside the home and still be a keeper of the home. She can still provide for her family and be a glory to her husband, family and to God.
G
Glory-to-God
Guest
Maybe this should be a thread on how well do kids turn out without parents raising them
I agree, Thankful. I have seen it go both ways: Working moms who raise wonderful, caring, thoughtful children who walk with God, and Stay-at-home moms who raise ungrateful, wild, undisciplined children. And vice-versa. I think we should do what works for our own families. Personally, I have been a stay-at-home mom for 21 years, and it has worked well for our family. We would have had more "stuff" if I had worked, but I didn't want "stuff." I wanted to stay home, and God was good to make it possible for me. Not everyone is so fortunate.
T
TexasSky
Guest
Wow - Talk about people throwing stones - - -
I am a working mother.
I have friends who are good Mom's who don't work.
I have friends who are good Mom's who do work.
I know people who are TERRIBLE Mom's - period - quite a few of them "stay at home."
The assumption made here by a great many of you is flat out rude, insulting, inaccurate and SINFUL. Yes, SINFUL.
I do EVERYTHING that every stay-at-home mother does and THEN I work on top of that.
You are spreading rumors, false wittness, to things you obviously have no idea about.
I have worked since my children were born. I did not WANT to. I WANTED to be, and PLANNED to be, a stay-at-home. I guess God had other ideas though. My daughter was "past due" when her father lost his job. To eat, to have a home, to even pay for her delivery, I had to continue with the job I had planned to give up.
But you know what? I worked 100% harder at being a mother because of that. I got up early so that I had time with her (and later her brother.) I breast-fed, and when I went to work and she stayed with her grandmother I pumped so she could have the benefits of breast feeding.
I used my lunch hour to visit her and rock her.
I rocked her to sleep at night, read bible stories to her before she could sit up, sang to her...
I taught her to read.
I helped her with her homework.
I knew every one of her friends by names.
I never missed a single school party or school event from kindergarten to graduation.
I cooked. I cleaned.
I hand made every halloween costume she ever wore.
I fixed her hair for every dress performance she ever was in.
I taught her to ride a bike.
I was there when she cried with joy and when she cried with sorrow.
I did the SAME thing for my son, only instead of dance and orchestra it was football, baseball and orchestra.
She is not only a fine Christian, but she is a missionary for the Lord with a college education. She calls me several times a week just to talk to me. We're VERY close.
My son hasn't graduated yet, but we talk for hours. He already begs me to let him get a job. He is a fine Christian also, who comes home worried about how to help others who are NOT Christian.
I know his friends by name too.
Its not easy. I get up earlier, I go to bed later. I've learned to survive on less sleep.
It wasn't the life I wanted, but every time I talked about quitting their father asked me to keep working, so I did.
See, he was a social worker, and society doesn't CARE about social workers. His salary didn't pay the living expenses. We weren't buying yachts and jewels with my salary. We were buying school supplies and clothing.
As to the "non-working" mothers and their perfection? Give me a break!
There were never less than 25 kids in any class any of my children took in school. The same families showed up for every event. Two of them non-working mothers, the rest who showed were working mothers who did not want to neglect their kids.
The non-working moms always had an art-class, or a tennis-match at the country club. They "wanted a little time away" from their kids.
The drug addicts were the kids who had wealthy parents and stay at home moms. (No, that's not an assumption. A flat out fact. Two are dead, three are in jail today.)
My mother worked all my life.
She didn't want to either.
She was a nurse. She had a sick child.
They needed money for medical bills.
She cooked me breakfast.
She was home within an hour of when I got out of school.
My sister is a working Mom.
She takes her kid to school every morning.
(I did too until my son asked to please let him walk.)
She picks her child up after school every afternoon.
(I did that too until THIS year. He is an 8th grader and we live one block from the school. He gets out of school 15 minutes before I get off work.)
I've quit higher paying jobs to accept the job that wanted my skills and agreed to let me do whatever my children needed.
I cook.
I clean.
I sew.
I do yard work.
I teach them God's word.
I pray with them.
I love them.
And to those of you who are sitting out there with your self-righteous ways.
How DARE you imply that you love your children more than I love mine? Or that you care for your children better than I care for mine?
I am a working mother.
I have friends who are good Mom's who don't work.
I have friends who are good Mom's who do work.
I know people who are TERRIBLE Mom's - period - quite a few of them "stay at home."
The assumption made here by a great many of you is flat out rude, insulting, inaccurate and SINFUL. Yes, SINFUL.
I do EVERYTHING that every stay-at-home mother does and THEN I work on top of that.
You are spreading rumors, false wittness, to things you obviously have no idea about.
I have worked since my children were born. I did not WANT to. I WANTED to be, and PLANNED to be, a stay-at-home. I guess God had other ideas though. My daughter was "past due" when her father lost his job. To eat, to have a home, to even pay for her delivery, I had to continue with the job I had planned to give up.
But you know what? I worked 100% harder at being a mother because of that. I got up early so that I had time with her (and later her brother.) I breast-fed, and when I went to work and she stayed with her grandmother I pumped so she could have the benefits of breast feeding.
I used my lunch hour to visit her and rock her.
I rocked her to sleep at night, read bible stories to her before she could sit up, sang to her...
I taught her to read.
I helped her with her homework.
I knew every one of her friends by names.
I never missed a single school party or school event from kindergarten to graduation.
I cooked. I cleaned.
I hand made every halloween costume she ever wore.
I fixed her hair for every dress performance she ever was in.
I taught her to ride a bike.
I was there when she cried with joy and when she cried with sorrow.
I did the SAME thing for my son, only instead of dance and orchestra it was football, baseball and orchestra.
She is not only a fine Christian, but she is a missionary for the Lord with a college education. She calls me several times a week just to talk to me. We're VERY close.
My son hasn't graduated yet, but we talk for hours. He already begs me to let him get a job. He is a fine Christian also, who comes home worried about how to help others who are NOT Christian.
I know his friends by name too.
Its not easy. I get up earlier, I go to bed later. I've learned to survive on less sleep.
It wasn't the life I wanted, but every time I talked about quitting their father asked me to keep working, so I did.
See, he was a social worker, and society doesn't CARE about social workers. His salary didn't pay the living expenses. We weren't buying yachts and jewels with my salary. We were buying school supplies and clothing.
As to the "non-working" mothers and their perfection? Give me a break!
There were never less than 25 kids in any class any of my children took in school. The same families showed up for every event. Two of them non-working mothers, the rest who showed were working mothers who did not want to neglect their kids.
The non-working moms always had an art-class, or a tennis-match at the country club. They "wanted a little time away" from their kids.
The drug addicts were the kids who had wealthy parents and stay at home moms. (No, that's not an assumption. A flat out fact. Two are dead, three are in jail today.)
My mother worked all my life.
She didn't want to either.
She was a nurse. She had a sick child.
They needed money for medical bills.
She cooked me breakfast.
She was home within an hour of when I got out of school.
My sister is a working Mom.
She takes her kid to school every morning.
(I did too until my son asked to please let him walk.)
She picks her child up after school every afternoon.
(I did that too until THIS year. He is an 8th grader and we live one block from the school. He gets out of school 15 minutes before I get off work.)
I've quit higher paying jobs to accept the job that wanted my skills and agreed to let me do whatever my children needed.
I cook.
I clean.
I sew.
I do yard work.
I teach them God's word.
I pray with them.
I love them.
And to those of you who are sitting out there with your self-righteous ways.
How DARE you imply that you love your children more than I love mine? Or that you care for your children better than I care for mine?
M
Marco
Guest
TexasSky, you're a great mom. I have a lot of respect for you and it drives me to work harder in my home and my life. Thanks for sharing that. Very inspirational.
Glory-to-God is just a passionate woman. I think she means well. I'm sure she knows she has no right to judge anyone. I don't even know if she meant it to come off that way.
People have all sorts of opinions. All we can do is continue to love Christ with all our heart and do the best we can. That's all that matters.
Glory-to-God is just a passionate woman. I think she means well. I'm sure she knows she has no right to judge anyone. I don't even know if she meant it to come off that way.
People have all sorts of opinions. All we can do is continue to love Christ with all our heart and do the best we can. That's all that matters.
4His_glory
New Member
Amen Texas! And Marco you are right.
It reminds me that moms wether stay at home or working don't get the respect and love they deserve many times.
If anything Texas you reminded me how much I appreciate my wife and need to tell her what a great mother she is to my children. Thanks
It reminds me that moms wether stay at home or working don't get the respect and love they deserve many times.
If anything Texas you reminded me how much I appreciate my wife and need to tell her what a great mother she is to my children. Thanks
Hey, TexasSky, you make me look back on my mothering and think I was a laggard! Granted I had six, but I did not know all their friends by name...
I figured out that if I waited long enough they would outgrow what had holes and rips...
Because five are special case adoptions, I did learn a lot of medicine and medical terms!
I had to do ten years alone after my husband of 20 years walked out on us, so I don't feel TERRIBLY guilty...grin.
I was able to stay at home by registering as my own private school and taking on students and hiring other teachers.
I remember being unconscious before I was horizontal at night and waking at a run about six hours later in the morning.
I couldn't go to all the games and shows and performances because the youngest is/was profoundly retarded and if there was no babysitter for him, I was home. My youngest daughter is 21 and still carries resentment for that.
But they knew Bible. I read the whole thing out loud to them -- it took two years and we did it several times. So at least they knew what they were rebelling against!
I was SO unperfect! Sometimes I was too tired to do "the best I could." Sometimes I was too tired to care.
But they ate well and we laughed a lot and the clothes were always clean. We learned to work as a team.
Parenting is hard, no matter. I think you are doing better than I did, but I stumbled through those years and we did it.
I figured out that if I waited long enough they would outgrow what had holes and rips...
Because five are special case adoptions, I did learn a lot of medicine and medical terms!
I had to do ten years alone after my husband of 20 years walked out on us, so I don't feel TERRIBLY guilty...grin.
I was able to stay at home by registering as my own private school and taking on students and hiring other teachers.
I remember being unconscious before I was horizontal at night and waking at a run about six hours later in the morning.
I couldn't go to all the games and shows and performances because the youngest is/was profoundly retarded and if there was no babysitter for him, I was home. My youngest daughter is 21 and still carries resentment for that.
But they knew Bible. I read the whole thing out loud to them -- it took two years and we did it several times. So at least they knew what they were rebelling against!
I was SO unperfect! Sometimes I was too tired to do "the best I could." Sometimes I was too tired to care.
But they ate well and we laughed a lot and the clothes were always clean. We learned to work as a team.
Parenting is hard, no matter. I think you are doing better than I did, but I stumbled through those years and we did it.
I think all of us mom's who struggled thru the terrible twos, colic, preschool play dates, PTA Meetings, picky eaters, the flu (EVERY Christmas for 6 years), asthma attacks, homework, teenagers, dating, learners permits, speeding tickets, etc., etc., etc., should give ourselves a big, huge pat on the back. We may not have been perfect, but we gave it our all! Give ourselves a hand, ladies! And give ourselves a break. Sometimes, we are just too hard on ourselves.
T
TexasSky
Guest
Thank you everyone. I apologize for losing it.
You hit a trigger once from when I was fund raising and visited with a woman who lived in a mansion, (literally), and who had her maid meet me at the door and her private secretary come in to record our conversation. She said to me, "You work? Don't you love your children?"
My best friend raised four children on her husband's salary as a high school coach, without working, I don't know how she did it. She was there with us every step of the way, so I don't mean my words to knock mothers who stay home.
As to perfection? I'm far from it. I have always despised house cleaning. I do it, but my grandmother would definately say I could do a better job at it.
Helen - My heart goes out to you. As you know, my spouse walked out after a car accident changed his personality 180%. I only had two at the time. I don't know how you did it alone with six. If we baptists nominated saints like the catholics you'd be on the top of my list.
You hit a trigger once from when I was fund raising and visited with a woman who lived in a mansion, (literally), and who had her maid meet me at the door and her private secretary come in to record our conversation. She said to me, "You work? Don't you love your children?"
My best friend raised four children on her husband's salary as a high school coach, without working, I don't know how she did it. She was there with us every step of the way, so I don't mean my words to knock mothers who stay home.
As to perfection? I'm far from it. I have always despised house cleaning. I do it, but my grandmother would definately say I could do a better job at it.
Helen - My heart goes out to you. As you know, my spouse walked out after a car accident changed his personality 180%. I only had two at the time. I don't know how you did it alone with six. If we baptists nominated saints like the catholics you'd be on the top of my list.
TexasSky, I, for one, don't think you need to apologize. This is a subject that gets me on my soapbox, also.
I taught school after my first child was born, but when my second one arrived, I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home with the children until they were in school.
Gwen, did you have to remind us of those years?
You are so correct. Mothering and parenting is work and a huge responsibility, but most parents love their children dearly and realize what a blessing they are.
Marco, I continue to be amazed at your understanding. The love of our Lord shines through your words.
It is up to the parents to decide how the responsibilities of child rearing are to be shared.
I taught school after my first child was born, but when my second one arrived, I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home with the children until they were in school.
Gwen, did you have to remind us of those years?
You are so correct. Mothering and parenting is work and a huge responsibility, but most parents love their children dearly and realize what a blessing they are.
Marco, I continue to be amazed at your understanding. The love of our Lord shines through your words.
It is up to the parents to decide how the responsibilities of child rearing are to be shared.
G
Glory-to-God
Guest
Funny how those who are saying I am being judgmental are themselves JUDGMENTAL ! read matthew 7:1-5 carefully.
Maybe you all didn't read where I said I had to work as a single mother....maybe you all didn't read where I said it was Gods BEST and ORDAINED plan that kids have a two parent home, where dads worked and moms stay home. As I was able to show in scripture.
Maybe you didn't read where I said I understood that there are special circumstances ( although I think many people cause their circumstances like going into debt and wonder how they got there )
Maybe you didn't read where I said we have lots of problems in this world because of SIN as mentioned in Genesis.
Maybe you didn't read where I NEVER said it was wrong for a woman to work outside the home....I and bapmom said it was best for the women to stay home while they had small children at home....or to work around their childrens school schedule if older.
We as a society have fallen for the lie that the world has adopted in many areas. Role reversals for example men trying to be like women and men trying to be like women. And our children as a whole are suffering because of it. We have adopted the worlds notion that everything is realitive....that there are NO ABSOLUTES...I think that is very sad
I didn't know a Baptist forum could be so liberal....where are all the fundamentalist ? Sorry but every preacher I have heard on this subject of marriage and the families roles say the same thing. Christians I personally know believe the same thing.
Personally all I see are people justifying the choices they or others they know have made in life.
Statistics show that the main reasons women are in the work force today are.
1) More single women in the last 30 years than there ever was....due to divorse or unmarried.
2) Couples wanting more " Stuff " Than they really need.
3) More and more people living way beyond their means and are in way to much debt.
4) Women want a career more than they want to stay home with kids.
If you notice these reasons are because of SIN and SELFISHNESS ! Not Gods BEST .
[ November 12, 2005, 02:40 PM: Message edited by: Glory-to-God ]
Maybe you all didn't read where I said I had to work as a single mother....maybe you all didn't read where I said it was Gods BEST and ORDAINED plan that kids have a two parent home, where dads worked and moms stay home. As I was able to show in scripture.
Maybe you didn't read where I said I understood that there are special circumstances ( although I think many people cause their circumstances like going into debt and wonder how they got there )
Maybe you didn't read where I said we have lots of problems in this world because of SIN as mentioned in Genesis.
Maybe you didn't read where I NEVER said it was wrong for a woman to work outside the home....I and bapmom said it was best for the women to stay home while they had small children at home....or to work around their childrens school schedule if older.
We as a society have fallen for the lie that the world has adopted in many areas. Role reversals for example men trying to be like women and men trying to be like women. And our children as a whole are suffering because of it. We have adopted the worlds notion that everything is realitive....that there are NO ABSOLUTES...I think that is very sad
I didn't know a Baptist forum could be so liberal....where are all the fundamentalist ? Sorry but every preacher I have heard on this subject of marriage and the families roles say the same thing. Christians I personally know believe the same thing.
Personally all I see are people justifying the choices they or others they know have made in life.
Statistics show that the main reasons women are in the work force today are.
1) More single women in the last 30 years than there ever was....due to divorse or unmarried.
2) Couples wanting more " Stuff " Than they really need.
3) More and more people living way beyond their means and are in way to much debt.
4) Women want a career more than they want to stay home with kids.
If you notice these reasons are because of SIN and SELFISHNESS ! Not Gods BEST .
[ November 12, 2005, 02:40 PM: Message edited by: Glory-to-God ]
Glory-to-God,
sometimes we can only do OUR best for God........
while the statistics line up with what you are saying, we have to be careful not to assume that all ladies who work fit into those statistics.
Us getting angry at each other in here is not doing our best for God. Its getting us worked up on a Saturday no less, when our families are most likely home and deserve to have us happy and contented for their sakes.
By getting upset in here, we give the impression that we believe the "other side" is indeed falling into those 4 categories you just gave up there.
Just be careful....ok?
sometimes we can only do OUR best for God........
while the statistics line up with what you are saying, we have to be careful not to assume that all ladies who work fit into those statistics.
Us getting angry at each other in here is not doing our best for God. Its getting us worked up on a Saturday no less, when our families are most likely home and deserve to have us happy and contented for their sakes.
By getting upset in here, we give the impression that we believe the "other side" is indeed falling into those 4 categories you just gave up there.
Just be careful....ok?
G
Glory-to-God
Guest
WHOOPS
You know what I meant right ?