However the word is used elsewhere and is clearly NOT used as a term for the office of deacon. You can't change Romans 16 - nor can you change 1 Timothy 3. - which you still haven't addressed.
The Greek word, diakonos, when translated into English shows the gender bias of English and even to a greater extent of the translators. When referring to a male diakonos the term minister is often used. The same term when referring to a female is never translated as minister. This, in itself, show a bias on the part of many translators.
Interestingly almost all translators translate the word as wife in I Timothy 3:11 except for the Weymouth New Testament. Here the word wife is changed to:
Deaconesses, in the same way, must be sober-minded women, not slanderers, but in every way temperate and trustworthy.
The word diakonos is used 31 times in the NT. Phoebe is simply called a servant (diakonon) which can be rendered differently in different Bibles: "minister" (Darby, YLT), "servant" (ASV, ESV, HCSB, ISV, KJV, NASB, NIV, NKJV), "helper" (NCV), "deacon" (NLT, NRSV), and "deaconess" (RSV).