Featured Proverbs 18:17 in Dealing with the sin of professed believers online.

My illustration does fit, but not in how many would expect.

The man professed to be a Christian yet he bore false witness against me. He made false accusations and slandered me. He insulted me. He was sinning in an online board.

I responded to the man's false accusations and insults by attacking him personally. I insulted him and exposed him on the forum. I was also sinning on an online board.

The staff listened to his side. The staff listened to my side. The staff considered the evidence.

They stopped short if concluding he was intentionally lying but concluded he had made false assumptions which led to his false assertions, and from there formed an agenda to slander my character. They concluded that I responded to him inappropriately and insulted him. We were both wrong.

That is how Proverb 18:17 works.

But the answer to the thread title us Christians are to not be offended and to not offend. We forgive, apologize, and move on in obedience to God.

 

I agree. In my example this is why we appealed to a third party (the Administration team of that board).

I think the conclusion was telling. Neither that person or I were justified. We were both proven to be in the wrong and shown to have sinned.

Rather than vindication we were shown our sin and disobedience (complete with Scripture to back it up). I suspect this is how it is in most cases. Neither side is innocent.

The key, however, is what we do with reproof.

For me I concentrated on a few passages. I knew I was wrong in my responses, but the passage that were I not to forgive the man the Father would not forgive me struck home.

I do not think it fit my theology. Anyway, meditating, studying, and praying about the issue I at least came to accept the verse as true. A few conversations helped as well. If I did not forgive the man God would not forgive me.

To make a very long story short, I did apologize and I forgave him. And that had a profound impact on my life.

Because of my previous actions some may not realize my earnestly. And that is fine. I was hot headed and insulting. I understand why people would doubt. But I cannot do anything about that. I just try not to stumble going forward.

God used that experience in my life.

 

You misunderstand the proverb. The proverb concerns ruling and judging over charges against a person. Not about gossiping over issues which have already been judged.

I am not bringing any charges against this man.

I do not hold anything against the guy. In fact, I still pray for him.

The ones who concluded he had sinned (that both he and I have sinned) were those Christians who listened to both sides and weighing the evidence before making a judgment (Proverbs 18:17).

I am not asking for a judgment. I am not seeking vindication. I freely admit I was wrong. I admit I apologized, forgave him, repented, and am forgiven.

I leave the othrmer guy to God - NOT to the mercy of the forum. He received the judgment of Christians who listened to both sides. What he does about that is between him and God.

 

@Iconoclast

Do you believe it was wrong of me to forgive the guy who made those false accusations?

Since this was already settled by a third party weighing both sides, he presenting his argument and evidence, I presenting mine, do you think the Proverb is saying EVERYTIME someone mentions the issue it needs to be rejudged?

If I am misjudging the issue (I do not believe I am) I offer this - I will consider providing the Administration findings (minus the guys identity) to any other member via PM. Members (other members) can ask via PM.

I say other members because I do not believe many hold your view of what the proverb demands. But they cam PM me.

This issue has already been settled. It was just an example from my experience.

 

You are avoiding the question.

Proverbs 18:17 The first to plead his case seems right, Until another comes and examines him.

The man who falsely accused me was the first to plead his case. Then I defended myself. Several Christians considered both claims and the evidence. They determined he made false assertions and I responded to his false claims inappropriatly.

That is cut and dry. Both parties need to accept the reproof and act accordingly. To do otherwise is to deny Scripture (and to reject Proverbs 18:17).

Do you believe I should not have forgiven the man?

If I did not forgive him his sins against me do you believe God would have forgiven my sins against Him?

 

It is not about the man. It was an illustration I used because IT HAD ALREADY BEEN SETTLED and he and I were BOTH GUILTY OF Sin on an open forum.

The Administration (not the open forum) is in the role of "judge" in these issues. They can see edited and deleted posts where members cannot. They can weigh the evidence where members can only choose which of the two they believe. And members agree with that system when they joined the group. And there was a group of administrators, not just one.

Proverbs 18:17 applies to them, instructing them how to judge these issues because it was their role, not his and mine.

I was addressing the OP.

Proverbs 18:17 was used - Christians heard BOTH arguments, examined the evidence and made a decision.

This happened 3 times and EVERYTIME the results were the same. He despised the reproof.

So what is the BIBLICAL answer?

1. All sides were heard. He and I were BOTH guilty of sinning against each other (and God).

2. I repented for my part and prayed about the issue (I have not responded to him or anyone in that manner since and it is my intention not to).

3. I forgave the man.

It is that simple. That is how we deal with sin on online forums. We obey God.

Proverbs 10:8 becomes the issue (The wise of heart will receive correction).

You don't need to pick apart my example. That was settled long ago.

 

I think that the issue of the OP is very simple if we obey the Bible. But often pride gets in the way.

What do we do when we see members sinning in online forums?

1. We approach the individual via PM (in private). Perhaps we misjudged the situation (it is an online forum, after all). But we make our concerns known.

2. His response determines the next step. If the issue is to continue invite one or two people – THAT THE OTHER PERSON WOULD BE COMFORTABLE WITH (who would typically agree with him on things actually discussed on the forum) into the conversation. Again, his response determines the next step, hopefully it is resolved. If not then go to #3.

3. Report the issue and give it to those appointed over the board (the administration). Do not usurp their role. The next steps belong to them.

4. The staff contacts the parties involved. Here is where Proverb 18:17 comes into play. They listen to all accounts and examine the evidence. They have the resources to look at what has been posted even if edited or deleted.

5. The staff judges the issue and lets those who were determined at fault know the conclusion.

6. Those determined guilty accept reproof.

7. They repent of the action.

8. They apologize to those who may have been offended by their actions.

9. They forgive the other person.

10. They move on.


It is that simple. When we submit to God in all things, all things become simple. Maybe not easy, and maybe not the outcome that we want, but they become simple. And God blesses us for our obedience.

If the other person continues in sin, I think that discussion should continue without exposing or "busting" the guy out. It is between him and God. We should continue discussion on an open forum setting the example in hopes God will reach the man or woman and lead him or her to repentance.

 

What do we NOT do in these types of conflicts on an online forum?

1. We do not abhor correction when given.
2. We do not continue to try and bring up issues that have already been settled because the outcome did not go "our way".
3. We do not continue to slander other people.
4. We do not prove ourselves fools by rejecting reproof.
5. We do not abuse Scripture to try and revive a dead issue already resolved because we did not like the outcome.
6. We do not refrain from forgiving a brother or sister as we know if we do so God will not forgive us.
7. We do not continue to harbor resentment and malice as we know if we do we will NOT inherit the kingdom of God.
8. We do not encourage other's to sin.


I was trying to get to 10 but drew a blank.

 

God used this man's sins against me as a mirror so that I could see how I was treating other people. This led me to repentance and forgiveness (both to forgive him and to be forgiven by God).

I will not invite the man to rehash the issue because I love this man. At one time I showed him hatred, but through all of this God has given me a love for this man which exceeds the animosity I previously held. I am burdened for this man, not because of his obsession with me or his desire for vindication when the issue has been settled already, but because his actions towards me are like my actions were towards him.

I want for him the forgiveness God has given me, and the peace, love, and life that accompanies God's grace. I believe Scripture is true, that if we do not forgive one another God will not forgive us. I am not sure how that fits in theologically (if an unforgiving spirit demonstrates an unsaved soul, or if we will remain under condemnation..I don't know). But I do believe and have to accept the truth of that verse.

Had I not forgiven this man God would not have forgiven me my sins because that is what God has said. If this man does not forgive me then God will not forgive him because that is what the Bible says. If I continued responding to him in kind then I would not inherit the kingdom of God, because that is what the Bible says. If he were to continue then he will not inherit the kingdom of God because that is what the Bible says.

That is how I was convicted of my part. God used him as a mirror, using his sins against me (and God) to show me my sins against him (and God). I wish that God led both him and me to repentance, forgiveness, and to be forgiven. I fear that is not the case and as such my concern has grown for this man.

So the answer is no. I will not drag the guy here and the issues here for the board to sit in judgement over what has already been decided (that would be gossip). I think that this would only allow the man to continue in his sin (sin is like an addiction, sin seeks sin). I love this man. I do not want condemnation for him. I want him to repent, forgive, and be forgiven. That is my prayer and that is why I will not begin the argument anew. He may still be mired in sin, but I have left and I pray that he will soon join me as a brother.

 

I think this is possible. In the example I gave God used that man's sin against me to show me my sin against that man. In truth, neither person was in a positive light.

At the time we both put ourselves in a positive light by arguing the faults we saw in the other person. The issue was decided (three times because neither of us let it go). But God used that to show me my own sins (to take the focus off the false accusations I was fighting and on my own actions and how I was responding).

I believe this is how God uses these types of situations. He led me to repentance, to forgive that man, to apologize to that man, and to be forgiven by God. It was a bad situation and both he and I were guilty. But God has used that in my life to point out pride and arrogance in how I was treating him (and other people). God used that man sinning against me (and God) as a mirror reflecting my own sin against that man (and God).

 

Having answered the OP, I am going to continue and do so by the example I have used.

Once both sides have been heard by those in authority and the issue has been adjudicated, what is the proper response?

As Christians the proper response is to accept reproof and correction for our own behavior, repent, and forgive the behavior of those who have acted against us.

But what if one party rejects reproof?

That is what happened in my example. The man who falsely accused me, who I insulted, rejected reproof each time it was given.

While this is sinful behavior, we risk the danger of getting caught in a loop. The man will not accept reproof or responsibility for his actions. But if confronted with this sin he would seek to paint himself in a positive light rather than take responsibility for his conduct and the whole thing would start anew….that is, if he could drag others into the fray.

In other words, rather than facing his own sin, that man has continued to try to point to my sin which has already been adjudicated by men, confessed by me, repented of, apologized for, and forgiven by God; and this in an attempt to justify his conduct as he rejects reproof and correction.

Where do I stand?

I started out expressing hate to this man, then ambivalence. He wants to be my enemy, that is his desire and the reason, I believe, that he has set himself against me. I do not even know the reason he has (or think he has) to treat me that way. But I am not called to express hatred towards him. I am not called to be ambivalent. I am called to care, and to love him.

He may be my enemy but that is his choice. I am not his enemy because that is my choice.

I have chosen to forgive him because God has forgiven me. God has forgiven me because I have forgiven him. I have chosen to love him because God loves me. I know God loves me because I love this men who has set himself as an enemy and accuser.

How do I choose to handle the issue?

I leave his repentance to God as this issue is truly between him and God. I am no longer in the equation. I left the issue when I forgave him, apologized, and was forgiven. I am no longer a party. The two parties involved are the man and God.

But I can engage with Scripture. I can continue to let him know that I have forgiven him. And I can continue to let him know that, although we may never get along well, I do love him and I wish the best for him.

And I will continue, for his benefit, to post about the poison of unforgiveness and how it leads to death.

If he were reading this I would offer him Matthew 6:16 and tell him that if he does not forgive then the Father will not forgive him; and Hebrews 12:15 that he is disobedient with this bitterness and trouble making; and Colossians 3:13 that this is not a choice but a command; and Matthew 18 that if he does not find himself able to change he will not inherit the kingdom of God.

I would tell him that he needs to develop a fear of God that exceeds his hatred of other men.

More importantly, though, I would tell him that I love him and am praying for him.

I hope he stumbles across this thread and reads these posts. And I hope God uses it to call him back into the Light, back into fellowship with God, and back into obedience.