I WROTE THIS LAST WEEK AND PUT IT ON MY FB WALL....THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE RELEVANT HERE. ESPECIALLY FOR RD
THE IMPORTANCE OF BALANCE IN ONES LIFE:
I HAVE A THING FOR THIS SHOW ON TV CALLED “WIFE SWAP”….I use to have my son Aaron watch it with me, to say “see I’m not that bad, you don’t understand you could have an EXTREME mom like that”…If he hasn’t already, he’ll get it one day when he has kids. I do not know if these people are for real, because they are so “out there extreme”….but I do know people in my own life, especially living up here that are EXTREME. This just got me thinking today, on where most of my frustrations lie within the “CHURCH” and with people in general….too many people walking around are too extreme and I really don’t think that is the way God intended us to be or how we should live. As much as I try not to be, I am TURNED OFF to any kind of extremes and those who know me well say "I WANT THINGS TO BE FAIR"…”I quickly see right from wrong”…..to me it is all about BALANCE!...God is balanced…He is Holy, Righteous and Just, yet He is also Loving, Merciful and Kind. His word is the same and so shall we be….Anyway….
Let’s look at what extremes have cost us in the 3 institutions God has established.
EXTREME PARENTING…..Boy can that mess a person up. After watching a very unbelievable, extreme episode on WIFE SWAP today, I thank God I didn’t do that to my boys and is one reason I wanted Aaron to watch this show with me years back, as he kept comparing me to his permissive father and his friends permissive parents…yet I knew deep down my parenting style was what was best for them and I think they both can now say I did a good job, cause they are the RESULTS of applying both LOVE and DISCIPLINE into their lives.
A Balanced/Authoritative parent (hopefully both are and in agreement, I didn’t have that privilege) knows how to balance love, affection, nurturing, respect, and overall tries and see the child through their eyes….LOVE at the same time motivates a parent to do what is best for that child in the LONG RUN…KNOWING by doing so, that child can be all God wants Him to be. The parent/s teaches Discipline, Ethics, Morals, Boundaries, and Pride in a job well done; to be Others Centered…this is the best parenting style that often reaps the best results.
Authoritarian/Aggressive, parenting, doesn’t think of the emotional or physical needs of the child, in fact they may not think of the child at all (those are the kind I had) because emotionally they themselves are NOT able to give it. They often are angry all the time; nothing is ever good enough and very abusive. Everything is about APPEARANCES…therefore there is a facade that must be maintained to keep certain forces real or imaginary out, all the while hurting those around them. Or they may be so goal oriented that the END JUSTIFY THE MEANS. Anyway, while this type of parent has a much better chance of raising a pretty good person like ME, (probably as long their child is prone to perfection or is drive) but for most it can be devastating and lead to more abusive behavior.
Permissive/Passive, these parents anything goes…often times because these parents have NO DRIVE themselves that is the same way they parent…to them it takes too much work to do the right thing. Or they never grew up themselves and sill wants to have just fun. This parent leaves kids not prepared for the real world, nor do they teach them self respect and respect of others, as they often have ENTITLEMENT ISSUES and are narcissistic. Anyway, I could write a lot about my thoughts on this subject, but let’s look at a few other areas where extremism has its effects.
EXTREME RELIGION….One of the biggest things that turn me off about most churches is they too are extreme, probably because extreme people are in them and run them, so like attracts like. You’ve got the legalistic (extreme) churches that focus on Old Testament law, everything to them is sin, they do not see how their legalistic ways DO NOT draw others to Christ, they actually repeal them…not only they often become ABUSIVE, without even realizing it…they do not understand GRACE and God’s true CHARACTER of love, in everything He does (had to learn this the hard way myself) revolves around His love for us. He isn’t so narcissistic, that He needs it all to Himself….lol. Jesus said we are to only fulfill 2 commandments….LOVE the Lord your God with all your Heart, Soul and Mind and OTHERS as yourself’…But then you have those churches on the other extreme…I call them “BARNEY CHURCHES’…you know, “I Love You, You Love Me, We’re A Happy Family”….again another dysfunctional family….where there is NO ACCOUNTABILITY, nor the importance of being a good ambassador and witness of Christ. They are often just as selfish as the other extreme, especially in their pleasures and relying too much on GRACE…neither is good, for neither reflex’s GOD’S TRUE NATURE OF WHO HE IS AND WHAT HE DESIRES for His church. He wants a church/bride who LOVES Him, because He first LOVED them and because of that LOVE, they are obedient to their Fathers will and out of that LOVING obedience produce good works and in producing “good” works through Christ, they are bringing others to Him, thus fulfilling the “Great Commission”…Matt 28….that is what it is all about….and personally I do not see EITHER EXTREME DOING A VERY EFFECTIVE JOB of producing Healthy Sheep than the Authoritative or Authoritarian parent does raising loving, respectful, responsible, accountable, hard working, humanitarians for this world. Of course as in anything you will have your exceptions…I’m not into exceptions..I’m more into a sure thing.
EXTREME JUSTICE SYSTEM….Oh boy, do I know this one. If I had my way it wouldn’t be so black and white. I think applying more of the “SPIRIT of the law” to those who deserve it…do the circumstances and history show what kind of person they really are, let’s say someone shows true remorse, let’s see if they can be rehabilitated? Showing a humane side of the justice system I would think would reap better results, plus it could help the REHABILITATION PROCESS along much quicker. This person can now be put back into society for the benefit of it…but, if ones spirit is broken it is of NO use. Now for the one who is defiant, and who is obviously guilty and they show NO remorse and actually mock the system, punishment that FITS the crime should be carried out and swiftly! It’s all about what is the best for that person, but more importantly what is best for SOCIETY!...Our Government, is no longer about balancing the two extremes together, it too is much like all the other organizations. That is probably why I am a moderate or libertarian type….BEI feel neither side has it quit right…Probably the RIGHT more than the left, that is for. So I am sure each side can learn from the other. Ok that is all I want write on this subject….thanks for listening.
NE knows why for there are many reasons...including being born that way...studies have found that most have a MELONCHOLY TEMERAMENT....look that up...so they are born with tendancies...just like you were born with a tendancy to be mean!