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No doubt this was partly due to my own ineptitude, but I see it now as God's working out of His plan for my life. If I had become rich, I would never have sought God, but now I can say, 'It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes' (Psalm 119:17).
Your doctrines fluctuates with the thread topics. Here, God is working things out for you, but in another thread God will be totally sovereign and everything predetermined and settled from before the world was. I can not keep up with you.