Fifteen years ago God reached down and pulled me up out of the mirery pit I had gotten myself into. He called me to learn the scriptures and to teach and disciple others. He placed this passion within me and I take it seriously and with fear. I love to teach and preach but I worry at times. I do not want to teach anything that is false, I do not want to teach in error. So I am careful when I teach on certain topics that may have differing views from good God fearing Christians.
Much of what I have come to embrace concerning doctrine has been shaped through debate boards such as the BB, through searching the scriptures, referencing the Greek and Hebrew, reading many commentaries and much prayer, not to mention SS and Church.
When it comes to this issue of Election, I fully understand why those who have embraced TULIP's pov do so. I see the scriptures they embrace and why they have made their conclusion. The reason I have not embraced this pov is because of all the scriptures where God invites the people to make a choice of faith and those who choose belief are commended by God in His Word. I think that those who embrace TULIP may be forcing themselves to disregard all of these admonitions given to believe.
But when I question my own conclusions, whether I am missing something, whether TULIP could be right, I ask myself what if TULIP is correct? I'm just being honest here, when I ponder if TULIP is correct I get a feeling of depression that comes over me. Let me explain, My heart aches for those who will not believe and for those who believe for awhile but are consumed by this world's deceptions and turn away. I take every opportunity to persuade and beg people to follow Jesus. But when I ponder that TULIP might be true, I feel the passion leaving me for I begin to think passion and persuasion becomes totally pointless. Sure I can still preach, but it would be without passion, it would be without heart for me.
I have some close Christian brothers in Christ who have embraced TULIP and we talk about it oftentimes. But when I ponder agreeing with them, going over to their pov on Election, I simply just get a dying feeling inside of me. the passion I believe God has given me to preach and teach the gospel simply leaves, I can feel it going. I ask God, what is the truth Lord? I never hear anything, but I have studied the issue thoroughly, debated it, prayed on it. And the only thing I can say is what i said about what I feel inside when pondering if TULIP could be true.
Could it be that God, knowing all things that are, has no issue with some of His children embracing TULIP and some of His children rejecting it? Letting each preach the gospel itself and allowing each their own pov concerning the means (choice or cause) ? God obviously knew this topic would be of great debate among His children. Does God see this as a good thing, afterall, these issues keep His children in the Word searching the scriptures and in constant deliberation over the scriptures. Just my thoughts.