Does this friend of yours really want to walk in truth? Or are they dead set in their mind and just trying to prove that women can do whatever they want because there is no verse that explicitly says "Women cannot be an elders"?
To undestand this takes an open mind. Yes thats right. Many times people who say that women are limited in the roles they can fill are called close minded, but I find that just the opposite is true. In todays society, someone who is willing to accept God's ways is very open minded.
Concerning your statement of wanting to "get a fresh start" I say that is the best thing I've read on this subject so far. I hope it is sincere.
I would say that you need to begin with your understanding of spheres of authority. We need to accept that there are God ordained structures designed by the creator. Most likely you accept this in principle but are not willing to see that it applies to the church. In addition, a person who has authority is not better or more important that a person who doesn't have that authority, they just have authority that others don't. I am not better or more important than my children, I just have authority over them.
Also, we need to know what authority is as well as what it isn't.
Websters 1828
AUTHOR'ITY, n. [L. auctoritas.]
1. Legal power, or a right to command or to act; as the authority of a prince over subjects, and of parents over children. Power; rule; sway.
This shows us that authority comes from another source. It is a legal right.
RIGHT, a. rite. [L. rectus, from the root of rego, properly to strain or stretch, whence straight.]
2. According to the law or will of God, or to the standard of truth and justice; as, to judge right.
The word rule has sadly taken on a negative connotation over the years because of the many poor rulers in history: Hitler, Nero, Robert Mugabe, Stalin... However, a ruler is what we use when we want to be precise in drawing a straight line or measuring. It is a good things when used properly. Other times it is abused such as when my 3 year old son goes after his older sisters with one.
RULE, n. [L. regula, from rego, to govern, that is, to stretch, strain or make straight.]
3. To manage; to conduct, in almost any manner.
In regards to men and women, God has given the "legal" right to rule home and church to the man. I were to say manage it may be more acceptable because of our understanding of the word according to our experiences. I think it is a good word for this topic.
Here it is important to distinguish the difference between the church and Israel and how Deborah could "judge" Israel. Also, if the person given authority is failing to lead, the source of the authority has the responsiblity to replace the leader with another.
MAN'AGE, v.t.
1. To conduct; to carry on; to direct the concerns of; as, to manage a farm; to manage the affairs of a family.
I think Paul makes it clear that he understood this was his role in the church.
Not for that we have dominion over your faith, but are helpers of your joy: for by faith ye stand. II Cor. 1:24
I will stop here, but I think it is also important to reconsider what we think "church" is. But, for the sake of time and space that may come later.
"For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God" Col 1:9-10
God bless.
