Should women work rather than stay home

Texas,

you're sounding REALLY condescending. I don't know that you mean it that way, though.

I have never ever heard of this Woronecki fellow, but I know that no man who runs around and claims that "bad women will have bad children that go to hell" would ever be invited to teach anything at any church Ive ever been a part of.
Because SOME Baptist churches have welcomed him in, does not mean that all of his teachings are acceptable. They most likely either did not do their homework on him first, OR he started making these sorts of claims later on.

That being said, we have gone out of our way in this thread to say that we understand there are many individual cases out there. We cannot make blanket statements about it, such as ALL ladies should stay home. In Fact, we've even made it clear that we are taking in a general sense of where the trend of our society is going, rather than speaking to anyone here specifically.

You seem to continue to take it personally, though.

As to your second post just now, I don't have all those amenities.
I have some of them...I don't wash my clothes by hand....but you do realize housework is not the only thing we are doing here? Most of us who are hard working moms would resent the implication that because we don't "work" we MUST have all this free time. Like right now, Ive got a sleeping baby in my lap that is sick today. He just will not let me put him down, and Ive tried several times already today. Hopefully he'll wake up soon and feel a bit better, and then I can get some housework done.
BUT, no, TV doesnt come on till late afternoon or evening, if at all.
As Ive said before, I volunteer at school so our kids can go there, but I do this from my home.

Other than that, I really don't have time for alot of "special projects" that you seem to think we stay-at-homes ought to have abundant time for.

 

TEX

I propose that many men choose not to see it:

It is much easier to claim to be working for the family than to actually lead the family . . . IMHO

 

Texas sky- "Sounds normal."

I could give you many examples of accompished folks who were mentally ill. And many who "craked up" as it were later in life. The stuff you wrote about her early years really is meaningless to this end.

I already granted you that this family was involved with a cult. And I think the pressure pushed her. But she showed her first signs after the birh of her first child before the cult, so this did not cause the psychosis. Also, she was not on her meds, so this contributed also.

But the point is a psychotic lady who kills her kids and is influenced by a cult and lack of medication is not representive of stay at home moms. So it was an extreem case that is almost slanderous in its presence here. While I agree that we should not beat up working moms, I don't think the influence of a cult on an unmedicated psychotic relates in any way to the pressure anyone may have expressed in this thread.

I think it is generally true that stay at home moms is the Ideal situation for small kids. But I understand that it is less doable now than it was in the past. We have been able to do it for the most part, but one year, before I graduated, I had to compromise a bit, so I understand about exceptions.

But I think we can all agree that it is an Ideal we should shoot for if possable, yes? The only disagreement is as to our attitudes about it. So I'll invite others to join me in saying that if you say you wanted to but could not stay home with your very young kids, well than that is good enough for me.

 

I just looked it up online. Seemed like a good source. But I don't know. It said that the mental stuff started after the birh of her fisrt child, but the cult came later. So I deduce that it started beforet he cult.

 

You must have missed my post and bapmoms that siad that yes she worked.....but if you noticed she was a WIFE....MOTHER....and HOMEMAKER FIRST !</font>[/QUOTE]No one here has a problem with a wife being a mother and homemaker being in priority over working (In fact, a Godly husband shoud also put his spouse, children, and home before his job).

What we take issue with is your contention that a wife is forbidden from working. Your contention is completely without scriptural basis. Completely.

 

No, you said women are to be workers at home, and men are to be the providers. If you had simply said that women are permitted to work so long as their roles as wife and mother are not compromised, I would have agreed with you.

Since God doesn't appear from scripture to have a problem with women working so long as their roles as wife and mother are not compromised, that's an empty statement of yours.

 

My sky, edgy aint we?


I got told to "Shut-up" by a 17 yearold punk and I welcomed him back after he was made to apologize, even tho I shudda made him apologize in front of the entire teen bus church.

Christians are to build bridges, not burn them.

I haven't even read GtG's post, but I do know what has happened to the family unit as far as having "wealth" is concerned. Most women sell out to a "better future" but married a man who wasn't able to provide. Sounds like your situation?

Our family is what it is due solely upon Jesus: obeying His commands, "Momma" is a keeper at home, rules the house, not the home. Our children don't even know what beer tastes like, they don't know what illegal drugs look like or how to use them. YOURS???????

 

and they're virgins too I must add. Yours???

(not just for Texassky to consider, but all ladies)

 

And you've said that this is God's plan. You've also said that if we do differently, then we're not following God's plan. Again, you're "belief" is not supported by scripture.

I'm a father of two teens. Theyr'e both virgins, and both plan on staying that way. One would almost get the impression that some are implying "working moms don't have virgin kids". Let's refrain from that kinds of stupidity, shall we?

 

No she wasn't joking....comments are made like that because a person really believes them....then they cover it up by saying " Just Joking "

Reminds me of all those moms who said the main reason they worked is so they wouldn't have to be around their bratty kids.
SAD </font>[/QUOTE]Whoa!!!

That's going a bit too far. Who hasn't been driven crazy by a toddler or a teen? I know I have said a number of times that if anyone touched (meaning harmed) my kids, I would kill them (which I wouldn't do) -- because I wanted to be the one to strangle my own kids, thanks!

Of course I was kidding! But the point was that I was in charge of my kids and I would do the disciplining, thanks. I would also defend them like an angry bear if someone tried to hurt any of them.

Two days ago my profoundly retarded 21 year old son (he had encephalitis when he was 3) got bored. Daddy is in Australia right now with a very sick sister who is in an ICU. So I am home alone with Chris and must take care of the horses, dogs, house, etc. as well as him. We have a decorative iron scroll gate which we can close to keep him confined to his own area when we need to. He is terribly destructive, although he doesn't mean to be -- but magazines (think my husband's expensive science journals and research papers) can be shredded by him faster than you can believe. He can sit on a guest bed and his diapers can overflow...ych.

So the other day I closed the gate so I could get bills paid and this side of the house cleaned up and some stalls cleaned after the rains.

As I mentioned, Chris got bored.

So SIX TIMES that day he squeezed out a little bowel movement and then reached down with his hand and fiddled around with it.

Each time I found out what he had done I had to clean him thoroughly, change his bed from the mattress cover up, and scrub his hands with anti-bacterial soap and a nail brush.

By the sixth time I was in tears and screaming at him. He had no idea why I was so upset, but I just couldn't take it any more. Would I have rathered ANYONE take him at that point and leave me in peace? You bet your life!

So I changed him again. Cleaned up everything again. Then I tried to call Barry but he was out. So I called my son's cell phone (he's 32 and a computer engineer) and he was with some friends in San Francisco, but he answered and excused himself while he listened to his hysterical sobbing mom swear she was going to kill his brother! Gradually, I calmed down, as he knew I would, and then we hung up. I went back into Chris and put him to bed with hugs and some songs, as usual.

Then went to the internet and ordered five pairs of overalls! Hopefully they will not allow him to get his hand down there again! Right now I am belting him kind of tightly and I don't like doing that.

We do go nuts occasionally. I had six. The other five each were able to do it to me in their own turns as well. I sent one daughter to live with my brother and sister-in-law when she was fourteen because she was sneaking out at night, had tried alcohol, drugs, and smoking and then I intercepted a letter from a guy friend of hers talking about their planned first sex experience.

I didn't think so! I was a single mom at that point and I knew she was totally out of my control.

So to preserve the lives of both of us, I sent her to my brother and his wife. Bill is 6'5". My daughter is a little Mexican doll of maybe 5'1". Bill looked down at her and said "I hear you have been a problem." She stared up at this giant and squeaked "No..."

And, for them, she mostly wasn't. She is 21 now and in college.

Part of parenting is knowing where your limits are. The wise parent gets a back-up team in place and uses them when necessary. The wise parent learns to balance what is necessary and what is possible and what is desired.

Are all kids sometimes brats? Yup. Do all parents sometimes want to divorce/kill/gently strangle/ground them until they are 95? Yup.

It's what we do about it that counts. All my kids lived to grow up, despite my occasional threats!

Yes, we are joking when we talk that way. But it is one way to relieve the stress of the moment and then get over it and not let it build.

If a mother needs to send a toddler to daycare a couple of mornings a week for the sake of her own sanity, God bless her. I was trading a day with a girlfriend when my oldest was only two months old! I would give her Scott on Tuesdays and take her two on Wednesdays. Both of us were desperate for time to ourselves, or just to talk to other grown-ups, or get a project done...

Got to go give Chris some lunch. He's been behind the iron gate for about half an hour now...grin...of course the fact that he has his own playyard with a swing and music on the entire time and space of his own -- please don't think he is being abused. We are just being protected.

Please, please don't judge this or that parent until you have walked in their shoes.

Yes, the ideal is mom and dad and kids in the middle of an extended and loving family.

Pretty rare now, though. So we muddle through the best we can by God's grace and help wherever we can get it.