Should women work rather than stay home

[Glory-to-God]

Evidently I am not as upset as some of the people are on here

I was trying to deal with this subject not on an emtional level....like some are. But on a intellectual...logical level. Using scripture and statistics.

It wasn't until I got bashed did I get upset...maybe if more who agree ( which I know are more than who do not ) with us would pipe in...it wouldn't look so one sided.

By the way this is a dabte forum NO ?
So I do not see a problem with debating....I can debate with the best of them.

 

[bapmom]

Texas,

I went back and read some of your post, and Im sorry you had that lady speak to you that way. She was totally out of line, and obviously very wrong in her assumptions, as well.

I only want to say this so you know there are some of us who stay at home who do so at great sacrifice financially. I don't know how we do it, ourselves, except for God's provision of course. My husband is currently working 2 jobs, one of which is a home business that we are just getting started. (This is the only reason we have online at all.)
We had someone give us a car so we could get back and forth to school in the wintertime...Praise God for His provision! We dont own our own home, and its certainly not a mansion

. I do volunteer work at our church's school so that our kids can attend there instead of public school....

Theres many things that alot of people think of as almost a necessity these days that we just do without....and its ok. Our kids are healthy and happy, they try to do whats right, and we minister together as a family in our church.

I just wanted you to know that theres many of us out here who are NOT like the ones you have encountered.

 

[Marco]

Personally, I dislike debates - trying to convince someone on your views. I like to discuss ideas - to examine or consider others opinions.

Logically and intellectually one's perspective on scripture does not make it so for the rest of Christians. There are a variety of arguments out there. I believe there have been no less than 30,000 different groups since Christ walked the earth that have sold their view on what Christianity is and isn't. There are all types of Baptists.

Either way, it's an interesting topic and I'm glad people have different ideas and still love Jesus Christ.

Peace

 

[Glory-to-God]

Discussion....Debate....Arguing.....Opinions......same thing.

Marco I will have to agree that this issue may lean more towards a lighter discussion than a heavy debate....since it does fall into what we call a gray area. I do think though the Bible does have certain Principles and a few Bible verses that do lean towards what I have said.
I have heard heavy discussion on many gray area subjects like what consitutes Christian music....people tend to get their own personal feelings involved....instead of presenting facts.

It was evident the ones getting mad were the ones who disagreed with me...not the other way around. We need to leave our personal feeling out and not personally attck each other as I and bapmom were.

Marco I said before I respect everyones view...if that wasn't true we wouldn't be friends with the family who's wife works and husband stays home. WE may not agree, but who am I to judge them...God is their judge.

 

[Thankful]

Originally posted by bapmom:
Glory-to-God,

sometimes we can only do OUR best for God........


while the statistics line up with what you are saying, we have to be careful not to assume that all ladies who work fit into those statistics.
...

Just be careful....ok?

Thank you for this post.

 

[gb93433]

I wonder why anyone would think that the only person who should work is the man. It sure was not that way in scripture. If we claim to abide by the letter of scripture then the man would not work away from home. The entire family should we working at home. In the days of scripture people were farmers. Most everyone worked at home.

 

[gb93433]

We emphasize so much that the women be home to raise the kids but the facts remain that 75% of the men in prison were raised by their mothers and had no male role model. Does that show the relative importance of a mother and father?

 

[bapmom]

gb,

we all do still work. I think most of us have agreed to assume that we are talking about OUTside the home.

It would be GRRRREAT if my family could live on a farm and work there all day. But that isn't how the majority of our society is set up anymore. So we have to deal with how it is today.

Ladies who stay at home are many times working very hard. Very often these days they are now also running their own business out of their home, so while we COULD call them "working" moms because they earn money, they are still considered "stay at home."

And, I know, this isn't really a defense of we who stay home. Perhaps this can give us ladies more of a perspective on how differently each side feels.

Often the ladies who stay home with their kids feel as if those who work look down on them as being lazy, or irresponsible, or just lucky so they can stay home and do nothing but vacuum.

Then the ladies who work feel as if we who stay home are looking at them as if they don't care about their kids or as if they are just trying to run away from their responsibilities, or like they care more about material things than they do about their family.

Im ONLY speaking to Christian moms in this. I think this OP was started because of what statistics show, which includes the WORLDs tendencies out there.

We look at those who aren't Christian, and it SEEMS as if these days the women's lib movement has made ladies all over the place forget about their home. THIS is what we dont want to happen among us Christians. I know we all agree on that.

So if we can separate our own ideas of whether we are talking about the way our society in general is going, or whether we refer to the ladies we know in our churches...I think that would help us all.

 

[Glory-to-God]

Thankful sorry but that post will not change my mind...I am very much aware of reality. You still do not understand my point on Gods BEST....if you cannot see this as truth, then I do not know what else to say.

A wise man said a mature person and a good communicator is able to find something " RIGHT " that someone said and communicate that with him....even though he may not agree with " ALL " he said.

Is there NOTHING I have said that was right ?

 

[Glory-to-God]

gb93433

Gods Best 2 parent home...dads works and provides....mom is home to raise kids and take care of home.

those people in prison needed 2 parents.

No one has a problem with both parents working at home like your parents farming....that would be even better than one working outside the home.

 

[Ed Edwards]

Originally posted by Thankful:
Glory-to-God,

I have read every word that you have written in this thread.

The absolute perfect family would be Dad goes to work, makes enough money to support his family. Mom stay home with the children. While she is at home, she cooks, cleans, manages her household and is a loving wife and mother.
...

Amen, Sister Wife Thankful -- you are RIGHT ON!

Originally posted by Glory-to-God:
...
You still do not understand my point on Gods BEST....if you cannot see this as truth, then I do not know what else to say.
...
Is there NOTHING I have said that was right ?

IMHO Thankful was agreeing with
you not by saying "I agree" but by saying the
same thing you said.

 

[Marco]

Thanks for the great thread Glory-to-God. It was nice to talk about it. I'm going to think more about my life and pray over this issue. To be fair, I do think the BEST

is a mommy staying home with kids. I do. I hope we can be friends and look forward to more posts from you. Whether or not we agree is another story, but we both agree Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Light.

~Marco

 

[Helen]

The woman of Proverbs 1 evidently worked, and at least sometimes outside the home, unless all the merchants came to her! However, she also had servants...

God's best is mommy and daddy together. His grace extends to other situations. The ideal is probably the extended family living within close range of each other. If mommy and daddy, for some reason (hopefully other than selfishness and greed...) find they both must work, then the kids can still be safely tucked in the family, with aunts, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers and even older cousins helping out.

 

[Bunyon]

A typical working mom scenario. My friends have always taken great pride in their cars and house. Both of them have always worked. When they had children, the wife stayed home for a few weeks of maternity leave, then found a daycare. They get up at five and get dressed and get the chldern dressed, the wife rushes to day care and drops the kids off, then goes to work at a doctor's office. The husband picks the kids up at 5, or now they ride the bus home from school. They cook, iron, and then colaps into the easy chair and veg in front of sitcoms, while the kids sit in the back room,and do the same. They go to bed and then start the same old stressful routine again. Unless the wife is making some very good money, i don't think the price the kids pay by being put in daycare from 6 weeks old is worth paying, and even then I would not pay it. Just think, a minimum wage daycare worker saw their first steps and heard their first words.

They were Glad in recent years to save money on summer day care, by leaving their 9 year old in charge of their 6 year old at home alone all summer. Yikes!

 

[just-want-peace]

-- My friends have always taken great pride in their cars and house.---When they had children, the wife stayed home for a few weeks of maternity leave, then found a daycare.--- They cook, iron, and then colaps into the easy chair and veg in front of sitcoms, while the kids sit in the back room,and do the same. ----Unless the wife is making some very good money, i don't think the price the kids pay by being put in daycare from 6 weeks old is worth paying, and even then I would not pay it. Just think, a minimum wage daycare worker saw their first steps and heard their first words.

They were Glad in recent years to save money on summer day care, by leaving their 9 year old in charge of their 6 year old at home alone all summer. Yikes!

Mat 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon-[Of Chaldee origin (confidence, that is, figuratively wealth, personified); mammonas, that is, avarice (deified): - mammon.]

These folks are "spending their kids lives" for the luxury/status they so crave!! Pitiful!!!

 

[StraightAndNarrow]

My observation is that the Baby Boomer's needed two incomes to live the American dream (buy a house, two cars, vacation in the summer, etc.) whereas their parents in the Great generation only needed one, the father's. Women working has not been to buy luxuries but rather to literally put a roof over their heads and food on the table.

 

[Glory-to-God]

Thanks for the great thread Glory-to-God. It was nice to talk about it. I'm going to think more about my life and pray over this issue. To be fair, I do think the BEST is a mommy staying home with kids. I do. I hope we can be friends and look forward to more posts from you. Whether or not we agree is another story, but we both agree Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Light.

~Marco

Amen Marco...like I said I respect everyones opinion even if I don't agree...just hope they do the same for me. You have a good attitude may God bless you and your family.

 

[Bunyon]

"My observation is that the Baby Boomer's needed two incomes to live the American dream (buy a house, two cars, vacation in the summer, etc.) whereas their parents in the Great generation only needed one, the father's. Women working has not been to buy luxuries but rather to literally put a roof over their heads and food on the table. "------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But I think you might be getting the cart before the hourse Straightandnarrow. It may be true now that we "need" two incomes. But that was not ture when wives began going to work. It was a second income that was a luxery. You are familiar with supply and demand, yes? Labor is subject to the same rules. What happens when you double the supply of labor? That is right the price of the labor is cut in half. If we would have kept the one spouse at home scenario, emploers would have to compete by paying that one spouse a living wage. But now we offer the emplyer two for the price of one, as it were. We should have stuck to our guns because we have no one to blame but oursleves.

 

[le bel]

I believe one parent should be at home raising the children, preferably the mother. I was a latch key kid and it wasn't fun. My mom was a single parent by choice and made herself out to be the victim. I was raised by the school system, after school programs, and the TV. All wonderful influences. She was not my mother, but a friend.

Even now, up until a few months ago my grandmother was raising my younger sister. At her house all of the time as my mother had her own things going on. I don't see anything wrong with a mother working, but God and family should be a priority. There's God, husband, children, work, self. In today's society many are lacking and it's *not* work. It's the marriage, children, church attendance, etc. After a while all else gets overlooked.

We live in San Diego, we manage with one income on a military salary. We are dirt poor according to Ca standards, but we make it. I, not anyone else should be raising my children, daycare is just that; saying otherwise is blatant denial. Yeah, I spent 11 hours outside of the home, mom comes home at 630pm, dinner, bath/shower, minimal social time and bed. Really, a whole lot of bonding time is happening. Between sleep, work and daycare/school, there's not much child rearing going on.

I think that is what set me on a quest for wanting to make money at something while I can still be there for my family. I wanted to choose something I enjoy, something I can do at home. I chose to look into getting a degree in photography.

My husband is the head of our household, he's the sole breadwinner and I am completely comfortable with that.

 

[TexasSky]

Glory-to-God,

As someone else already pointed out - the woman in Proverbs, who was given as the example of the perfect wife, worked.

In an ideal Godly world all men would want to and be able to support their families, and would be wonderful Dads and husbands and providers.

In an ideal Godly world all women would want to stay home and raise their children and been wonderful wives and mothers.

This is not an ideal or a Godly world and until Christ comes again it won't be.

You can't judge others until you've lived their life. God's will for you may not be His will for your neighbor. We can't all lead the people out of Egypt.

The common assumption is: "If you just do with less you can make it."

Have you looked at the trade off you're suggesting? The number one biggest cause of divorce and of suicide in this country is financial stress.

My sister loves her children dearly, but she is not a "children" kind of person. She just has very unreal expectations and very low patience. She once told me that it was a good thing the Lord didn't make her stay home with her children because either she or the kids might not have made it. She was joking.

However - look VERY, very closely at certain things in life before saying, "everyone should,"......

Andrea Yates murdered 5 children because she and her family thought the Godly thing to do was stay at home with her kids, and do without financially. Before anyone goes, "Oh, but she was insane," I point to the fact that the reports say when she was working outside her home she showed no signs of major depression. She was a happy, functioning member of society until people convinced her and her spouse that it was "against God's will," for her to work.

Let God judge us.

As to me. I have no problem with believing that God is not upset with me for working. I help others, I spread the word of God in a work place, I have Christian children, I tried all my married life to be the Proverb's wife. I prayed for this job, and at the risk of sounding a bit fatalistic. If God had not wanted me to work, He would not have allowed my husband to be fired at the same time a good job opportunity fell into my lap.